The Dancer in me

I have always loved dancing, ever since I vaguely know what dancing is, or looks like - in my tender age of primary school going years; in my small hometown with a shrouded view of performance arts and entertainment.

For me then, to be able to move gracefully and skilfully is power, almost like a super power, or special talent.  In my little head, I think the people I saw on the TV screen strutting their stuff are attractive and powerful people who can get what they want in life - because they are such beautiful dancers.  I don't know how or where I got that idea from but it just happened.

After my sister left home to work in the city, I had our bedroom to myself.  In the middle of that small bedroom - was my dance floor.  That tiny patch of 5x4 feet was where I dance - or moved my body according to whatever little "received pronunciation" I had back then for dance.  I would dance to the music they played on Radio 4, or on my cassettes; seeing the image of a beautiful dance in my head.  Sometimes I watch the reflection of myself in the glass window, I could see it better in the evening when the lights are on in my room.

In high school I remember performing at our annual Girl Guides and Scouts concerts..or some other school outings, I especially remember rehearsing and working hard to dance to songs like Janet Jackson's Black Cat, Mariah Carey's Dream Lover, and something by Black Machine.  Haha..

It was really pure joy and fun to dance back then, when there was no one to examine us, compare us (and me), and correcting our moves.  I in fact cannot even remember who were the choreographers, must have been one of our schoolmates.  But I remember in my mind our choreography were sophisticated - for us teenagers from Chinese school in Taiping.

I guess if singing is the thing I do to define my vocation in life, then dancing would something I do to show the world the inner child in me, the person who loves to play.

Ironically, many years after I played hard in dancing to Janet Jackson's songs I came to understand how much training, discipline and handwork is needed to 'play' it well.  This understanding came after attending weekly dance classes for years, what I do for fun.

The one thing that I always feel a little embarrassed to admit is that I have more fun in dance classes than my singing classes (perhaps not being a professional dancer is one of the reasons).  Sure, I have my fair share of frustrations in dance classes too with catching up with choreography, with technique and all that but it doesn't come close to the amount of fun and joy I get in dancing in a class - it all makes up for it.

Then, about two to three years ago I started watching myself dancing in videos - be it in classes or rehearsal for love performances and musicals.  The sight of myself dancing was a gross monstrosity to my eyes because the captured performance is honest and transparent, all my flaws are pronounced. I was puzzled and spent a great deal of time trying to figure out why I look horrible on videos even if I felt great dancing a piece of music.  By that time my ability to remember and to learn choreography has improved a lot so it wasn't that I couldn't do it, I just look horrible doing it.  Ok, if not terribly horrible, I look weird, stiff, and not convincing.  Funnily, I didn't go to my dance teacher then to ask her why, I showed my friend my videos and asked her.  Callista is a part time Latin dancer and an old friend and she is generous with her knowledge and sharing.  She watched me dance and saw my videos and told me my upper back is crazy stiff. "All the movements that involve working your back, curling and such, you don't `finish' the moves properly - hence it looks not so nice."  Callista told me it is something I can work on to overcome.  "Ok, got it!"

And then I started noticing my bowleggedness. This 'cacatness' affect the aesthetics of my movement and postures in dancing.  This time round I take the case up with my dance teacher, my ballet teacher to be specific.  Miss Nell said, "Yes, you are bow-ledgged.  Don't worry, we can work on it and you will still look good IF YOU WORK HARD."

More than a year ago when I was planning my first solo concert I had the vision of me being in my finest physical form, singing and dancing - holding on own in doing both that I love.  When the script writing came for that concert it was decided that there would be no dancing, the decision suited the concept well.  We sold out on both nights of the concert, even though I didn't get to dance, haha.

Now just a year after that concert I am planning my next one and this time - having done the highly melancholic in the first - I can now safely depart from the sedated and bring out the bold, and the dance...hence:

Showgirl concert, March 2017.

I am challenging myself to overcome the stiff upper back, bowlegged, and everything else that have made me look less than good on the dance floor - to open and close the show next year with a performance that I will be proud of.  It's about a year from now, the game is on.   The work will be colossal, the pain unbearable (but good thing I like pain) and the hours plenty.  I am grateful to have my other old friend on board, Nell, who is fearless in the workplace.  Thank you for taking this up with me.  Let's dance.

FB post dated November 22 - "Classical music is not irrelevant"

"Holy cow, we are not irrelevant! We are revolutionary!" - Joyce DiDonato (watch this clip!)

For those who think singing or playing classical music has no future or is irrelevant in this day and age, please listen to this interview with a great American musician and singer, Miss DiDonato. Her story makes me want to spend more time thinking about how the distance between everyday people and classical and opera music was created (intentionally or unintentionally I don't know) and `systematically' maintained through time.

If we continuously only feed the public what's deemed the most hip and popular musical products (for a lack of better word), am afraid we are driving our beloved public, which include our children, our families and friends - to a future where their taste for art and music (among other important decisions in their lives) is no more than what the electronics are feeding to them, what the rest of the YouTubers are watching, what other people are `viraling' over Facebook.

Occasionally here in town, although in too small the amount, we are served with classical music. But rarely, or hardly ever, the General Public are given any chance of being exposed to an art so naked, and visceral and honest (no sound system, no super dancers hanging from the ceiling, no distracting costumes, no sets). What we don't try, we don't know.

I am for one, guilty of wanting to be safe, and disallow myself the chance of bridging the gap between the public to figures like Rossini, Strauss..and more. Maybe people like me and my other colleagues need to think deeper into this - how can we bring more real, naked, honest (not packaged) classical to the general public, and let them decide if it is worth their time and heart?

I applaud those producers (thank you EST folks for staging Carmen this year), artistes, theatre companies and art platforms who stay true in their beliefs of naked and real art form, who staged and produced musicals and plays chosen not because everybody in town knows the work but because the work is worth knowing.

Thanks to Miss DiDonato, always an inspiration for being stubbornly humble and sincere, and serious about her work. Thank you Tan Sin Sim for sharing this clip that provoked my ponder this morning.

Let's hope this could spur some thinking into some of us, how can we contribute in our own little way (or big if you are capable) in bringing classical music closer to young people, and the general public? -- Scott X Woo, can you bring back those wonderful LRT-station impromptu singing?

Watch this clip, and am sure there are thousands of other similar stories around the world to prove that classical music is not irrelevant in this electronic world. It is revolutionary. #janetleemusic #janetreads #janetreflects #opera #classicalmusic

FB post dated November 15th - "I can always go to her next gig."

This morning I feel clever - An ironic observation I've recognized: if you're an active performer in the live music scene, chances of your gigs being overlooked by your friends and families are high because it's very likely that people think that they can ALWAYS catch your NEXT gig. Like how you'd tell yourself, I can ALWAYS use my condo swimming pool TOMORROW if I want to, it's just right there when I take a lift down  and then a year later you realize, haha, the swimming pool ended up never been visited in the last 12 months.

When it is convenient and accessible, we take things/people for granted - isn't that true?

For artistes who only make public stage appearances once in a blue moon, their friends/fans and families would flock to go catch it, thinking oh they mustn't miss it because it's hard to come by, etc.

So be careful the next time YOU think you could always catch that artiste's NEXT GIG - you might end up never getting to her gigs for thinking exactly that. Human nature  I do that too. But for the better half of you who knows me, I go in and out of theaters and concerts and gigs to watch others like breathing - though it taxes greatly on my wallet I deem it necessary to watch others perform, like how breathing is necessary for my survival.

Having said that, it's most convenient now for me to update and remind you of my upcoming performances  my gigs aren't that regular but they are there sometimes…

1) Two Shanghai-Jazz Fridays with Janet Lee at Hakka Republic
Nov 15th (tonight) - 930pm at Hakka Republic with Toro Cheng Pin Xuan,Ken Chung & Terrence Ling

2) Nov 22nd (next Friday) - 930pm Hakka Republic with Ee Jeng Hin, Fly Bassman II & Charles Wong

3) 'Bosom Buddies' - a cabaret show with Zalina Lee & Janet Lee
January 31st & February 1st - 10pm at Alexis Bistro Ampang with Toro Cheng's band

Come if you can, don't come if you must stay away 
#janetleemusic #klgigs #theatre #shanghaijazz #jazz #hakkarepublic#cabaret

FB post dated November 14th - "Shut the fuck up at concerts."

Attended a lovely concert last night with some colleagues in the music circuit.  The experience was marred by a few issues.  I could forgive the Arctic-like, severe and intensely bone-chilling drafts of the air-cond that blew right on top of us from 830pm to 11pm.

But I can't quite rest my heart at the `sakit-hati-ness' of the behavior of the audience.  For the reason that I think what I have observed last night reflect a much bigger issue facing the…youth of our society today.

We were sandwiched by a row of elderly audience behind us and a group of four young ladies/girls who sat in front of us.  At numerous occasions during the intimate moments of the performance there were audible chatter behind us - please note that it was chatter, not whispers.  In front of us where we had no choice but to look between the four heads belonging to the four young ladies, to enjoy the consummate performance on stage.

The performance featured vocalists, a jazz band and contemporary dancers.  For the most part of the evening whenever the dancers make appearance, the girls in front first watched (though I think it looked more like they were gawking), then exchanged remarks among themselves, then giggled uncontrollably…non-stop.

Now, how the dancers' performance fitted into the music performance is another issue - but the fact that these young people (ok, I am assuming by merely guessing that they look young, they look early twenties to me) thought it was okay to start a forum about the performance right there in the middle of the concert, among other audience - is beyond my best effort tolerance.

I practice self-censorship consciously in all my self-published content - blogs, FB tweets, instagram, etc.  Outside of the cyber world I try my level best to do the same.  As I age I put in more effort in behaving myself in public, when dealing with frustrating people, I try to put peace and solving a problem before satisfying my urge to reprimand - I really try, trust me - I used to be a lot louder and wouldn't think twice about telling someone off in public, loud.

At the beginning of the concert I turned to the chatting elder-lies behind me and smiled first, gestured for them to shut their gaps and said softly, "I want to listen to his singing."  I looked into the pair of eyes I met, sitting behind me, on a face of a woman who clearly looked old enough to be my mom - they looked happy to be at the concert…except they really didn't know how to stop their chatters in a concert like that.

Unfortunately for me, I was expecting a lot more from the girls in front of us.  They were young people who were clearly privileged enough to attend such a classy event - a live music concert; they looked like they are at university-attending age and they each had a piece of paper with them and they would sometimes write something on the papers in the dark (I wish I knew what the papers were).

The four of us behind the girls watched the show patiently, it was a long and cold night.  Towards the end of the performance the lead performer engaged us in a most soulful, and quiet ballad, featuring a dancer.  One of the girls continued her antics of mocking the performance by covering her mouth, stopping herself from laughing, and exchanged words a few times with her neighbor.  I decided to talk to her, I tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said, "This is closing to the end already, could you please pay attention to the stage?"

The girls didn't quite stop their gawking and giggles after that but their moronic behavior was reduced.  I could tell that the girl whom I tapped was dying (inside of herself) to take a good look at me and stare right down at me.  After the show I spoke to some musicians about audience etiquette.  Our conclusion was that - the older bunch had no idea that talking during a performance is fucking rude - they simply had no idea what renders appropriate behaviour at concerts.

The young ones?

Many people talk of Malaysians being people lacking in exposure of worldly things - specially in the arts and music industry.  Comments like, "Yalah they don't know ma what world-class standard is like."  "Not bad already for a Malaysian/local show." …..etc.

My point is, long winded as this entry is (apologies) - so yes, we are village folks, we don't know any better, but are we ready to remove ourselves from our narrow-mindedness and our so-called `backwardness'?  And for those of us who know better - are you ready to educate and help open the eyes of those who don't any better yet?

So if you know that when you attend a live performance with three hundred other audience in the auditorium, you are to put your phone on silent, and leave conversations with your friends for appropriate break of the performance - would you do something to ensure that your fellow audience do the same?

Or would you just sit there and ignore the bad behavior for the sake of peace? Of avoiding making a scene?

A few years ago I sharply told a mother off for talking to her family (a pair of parents and two teenagers) during a performance in a theatre.  This lady received several warnings from other member of the audience during the show - "Please keep quiet, I didn't pay to hear you talk, I paid to watch him dance." etc.  So on my way out of the auditorium I stopped by her seat and told her that she really shouldn't be a bad example to her children.  Her reply was, "No we didn't talk, we didn't do anything wrong. I don't know what you're talking about."

Later on at the foyer of the theatre I saw her again, again I approached her and told her that everyone who sat near her could she and her family talked during the show, ahem, she was so good she actually scolded me and called me a bitch loudly…with people near us who looked on, disdainfully.

I rest my case.  Again, I apologized for the lengthy writing to illustrate one point.

Again, my question again - if you know better in being a worldly person with manners, would you care enough to educate the others to improve themselves?  Clearly, if there are not many of people like me around to single out the spoiled kids like the ones we encountered last night at Tribute To Yao Ming's opening concert - I would always look like the bitch who is self-righteous and a snob who tell people off.

The road to a more mature society, getting to the first-world country…and all, seems very long and cold.

"The Maid" - my Butterfly Lovers journey, a theatre love story

I started this entry a few months ago when I was recalling all my fondest theatre memories - and decided I should dedicate an essay to my experience in Butterfly Lovers.  Writing this essay has enabled me to relived some of my pet memories as a performer.  I started this piece in August and didn't finish it until today - two weeks over after our last performance on October 20th.

(all the pics in this post are from the 2013 production) 

Seven years ago, I attended an audition for a Chinese musical in KL, under the encouragement of my then singing teacher Cha Seng Tiang.   I prepared an old Chinese song after painstakingly looking up something simple that I could pull off singing a capella without making lots of mistake.  Now thinking back, I really can't remember if I sang 我有一段情 or 一帘幽梦 but I think it's either one of these.

I was required to do a short reading too from the script of the musical.  I remember some struggling to make my lines smooth, with some effort of acting.  Then in 2006, I would have stopped speaking and writing Mandarin since I left high school in 1995 (or was it 1996?) for a decade... A decade.

So my script-reading was half-cooked, my singing of that oldie probably got me better score with the audition.  Whatever happened that afternoon in the Dama Orchestra audition room, won me an offer from the company to play the role of YinXin, the personal maid to Zhu Ying-Tai, the oriental Yentl, or Juliette.   The musical was Butterfly Lovers The Musical. It would run at KLPac Pentas 1 in October 2006.

Just fresh out of the production of Saidah Rastam's M! The Opera in April 2006, and previously at Pygmalion The Musical by KLPac (October 2005) - I was newly independent - just touching a year after I left my last day job as a booker in a modeling agency.  I dived head in into the 4-month long rehearsal period for Dama Orchestra's first full length musical; and my first Mandarin theatre experience.  Little did I know then that would be my major stepping stone, launching me into my first step of becoming what I am today - a bilingual cabaret performer of a sort.

The acting rehearsals were grueling, I worked very hard to reciprocate the private coaching sessions that were arranged for me.  Though I spent almost all of my school life in Chinese medium school, the state of my Mandarin then needed lots of work.  Thing was that YinXin doesn't have a lot of lines in this script, even though she is on stage all the time.  I recorded all of my close to fifty odd lines that I have in the entire musical on a CD, and played that over and over again in my car so I could practice in the traffic.

It was quite close to a perfect place to be, for an inexperienced stage actor - I was cast to do a role that has just enough lines to be heard in the show; just a couple of singing lines to be noticed that I could carry a tune decently (in Mandarin); am on stage 80% of the time (YinXin is in ten scenes out of twelve scenes in the two act musical) - way enough air time for someone new like me to prove that I could deliver what I have learned during the tedious acting rehearsals.

I really could not thank Kai Loon and Seng Chew enough for having faith in me and trusted me with the role.  In all of my cluelessness back then, I probably did not realise what important roles these little supporting roles like Yin Xin and Si Jiu play in an epic love tale such as Butterfly Lovers.  I understand it much better now, in 2013.

Prior to the rehearsals from June 2006 to September 2006, I didn't have much exposure in acting.  I played ensemble member and mostly and all my stage movements were choreographed by directors or choreographers.  In Butterfly Lovers I had to move as a living, breathing individual, who goes through a myriad of dramatic emotions, with solo singing and speaking lines, to complement and support the leading actors and story.

I had to work from scratch to plan, workshop, choreograph my every movement on stage…step by step, with the help of Kai Loon.  I wrote down every single stage blocking for all scenes, drew out the choreography that was given to me or fixed by me.  Next to each of my dialogue I wrote down the accompanying emotion, mood, and intention, etc…on every page there are notes on my character's "B-M-E" (beginning, middle, end).  I went from a green and clueless, a fidgeting figure, to a passable, half-decent actor by the time the show opened that October 2006.

Not forgetting at all the tremendous help I received from my stage counterpart, Jason Lai, who played Sijiu (the servant to the male lead, Liang Shanbo, played by Yang Wei Han in 2006) to a T.  Jason was younger than me but a much more seasoned thespian who not only acts, but also work in different hats in the theatre.  He was our assistant stage manager too in Butterfly Lovers, besides playing Sijiu.  I learned a lot by watching Jason in action, through discussions about our scenes together, and through the massive amount of tips he generously offered to me on stage craft and acting.

The stage chemistry between Jason and I was amazing, it felt like it just happened naturally.  Jason is an incredibly giving actor and a natural in the craft.  I always feel that on stage in the show back then, Jason was the one element that saved my novice ass and made me looked good.  Off stage I had the tireless Kai Loon who would give us notes after every performance.  My friends and family, including the producers themselves (Kai Loon and Seng Chew) - were somewhat astonished that I pulled through as YinXin.  Kai Loon was proud of his work on me because he said "I couldn't recognized Janet Lee on stage."

Another reason why this role will always remain special in my heart was Justin's response to this role.  After watching the show he became incredibly impressed and amused with my `guise' on stage.  Right up to our last year together in 2010, he'd always tell me that his favorite role in all my (though limited) stage repertoire, was YinXin - because I was `so soft and gentile', playing the young maid.

So…..that was 2006.

A year later the show went to Genting Highlands for a two-weekend performance, before we flew to Perth to perform at the His Majesty's Theatre for a weekend.  The trip was a truly memorable one because of the company of the people involved in the production.  By then many friendships were formed and it was a tight team to shake.

Yup, so that was 2007.

When the offer and confirmation finally came for me to reprise my role in the show early this year, the first thing I did was to look up Jason's phone number.  I wanted to know if he would be coming back on board as Sijiu again, knowing that the producers made him an offer to come back - I know I needed him on stage for me, despite me having grown as a performer after 2007.

Expectations were high for this re-staging, the stakes are higher too this time round.  Rehearsal period had been cut to just 6 weeks from 4-months back in 2006.  Back then all I needed to do was to learn how to play YinXin well, I hardly have any conflict dates.  This time is different, I was going through a dry spell in my gig bookings in July and August.  When booking calls came in for me for gigs in late September, I had to say no.  Then more bookings came knocking for October but the musical had started its run already.  Oh well, now you know money can buy you happiness - my loss of income from other gigs bought me a special reward in staying in this production.

Anyway, I had a great start at rehearsals getting reacquainted with my lady - the now a mother of one, Tan Soo Suan,  playing Zhu YingTai again.  She has gained much experience from her past roles played in Dama Orchestra's prolific stage between 2007 to 2012.  This time round she came into the rehearsals equipped with lots of considerations and ideas for our scenes and characters, and couple with Kai Loon's new insights for the script - we put the musical together as a team, painting layers of fresh coats of dramatic nuances and more underlying stories to sharpen the story.

On board this time to play the male lead Liang Shanbo was Jun Yi, a Chinese karaoke (numerous times) champion who trains classically, also a music student in Malaysian Institute of Arts.  Jun Yi played a supporting role in Dama Orchestrea's 2009's production of I Have A Date With Spring.   It was clear at the beginning of the rehearsals that Jun Yi is a winner in singing with very little stage craft or acting knowledge and skills.

The vocabulary for stagecraft and acting is so frightening wide and bottomless.  While looking at how Jun Yi struggled in the rehearsal room for his lack of experience and skills in the said department, I couldn't help but wonder how we could bridge the gap between not-ready to being ready for the show to open on October 5th.  Soon enough it became clear to me that watching how Jun Yi and colleagues work together to close that gap is the single-most precious experience for me in this re-staging.

You see theatre will always hold a soft spot in my heart for exactly that - the exposure to others' vulnerabilities and their journeys.  I remember in vivid colors those magic moments and incidents from my various rehearsal room experience when I discovered I have fallen in love with theatre.  The first time was during one of the my long-waits at the sitzprobe for Tosca back in 2003, I was in the chorus of Tosca, incredibly little stage time.  I was listening half-heartedly to Lily Zhang (a Chinese soprano who sang Tosca, the other Tosca in the same staging was Nancy Yuen from Singapora/HK) rehearsing with the orchestra for one of her arias, her long sustained pianissimo notes, the string sawing away with her, as if tearing Tosca's heart apart as she laments about her cursed life as an artiste.. suddenly it hits me that that Puccini music was pulling my heart strings and the sound of Tosca soaring admits the strings were madly beautiful…I fell in love being surrounded by theatre and opera.

The second time was that afternoon on the cold cold floor of that Vision Four warehouse space that we used for rehearsal for M! The Opera, I was lying on the floor listening to Khir Rahman (who played M, the lead of this contemporary opera by Saidah Rastam &amp and Jit Murad) rehearsing a haunting solo, his hauntingly soulful cries made my toes curled, my heart cried along with M - the tortured artiste but my soul was smiling from inside out because the words and the music were too beautiful to bear...in a good way.  I thought to myself, what a swell life this is, to be surrounded by magic in the making, day in day out.

From then on, the rehearsal period for theatre productions remain my favorite part of being involved in theatre.  This time in Butterfly Lovers, I was privileged to be able to witness how Jun Yi grew from that timid person at rehearsals to a tall, handsome and divine-sounding leading man - I call this the 'Zero To Hero' story.   I treasure those precious mamak sessions after rehearsals at night where we would discuss work, vent frustrations and prep-talk, encouraged each other for the next day's work.

And then we bumped in, it was the beginning of the end in no time.  No time to waste at the theatre, audience waiting to come in.  Call time, make up time, meal time, sound check time, warm ups, calls to positions, get inside your character's head and stay there till the curtain call starts.

It feels like it all ended too soon before I could barely bid farewell to all that is special to me in this production.  I was juggling being focused and being sick during the run of this show, like a few other actors in the show.  There were exciting episodes of mishaps here and there, sick stomachs, blood, knocked bones, etc.  Jason and I had a scary fell from the high set on the day of full dress rehearsal and I still shudder at the thought of "what-ifs".

The cast party took place last week, cheques were collected, goodbyes and 'till we meet again' were exchanged, stories and jokes shared.  And yet it still feel like the chapter has not properly closed for me.  I was too distracted to find my own closure in this story - I was too sick and stressed out with other things on my mind.  Other projects gotta take place, my focus has shifted to other urgent tasks and work at hand.  I don't really have time to lament over the end of this beautiful journey. I know that I had started saying my goodbye to the musical during the production - thought it still didn't prepare me for the real goodbye…ah well!

Until I could rest YinXin in peace properly...I hope your eyes are still inside your socket if you managed to read this far.  Haha!

more photos taken during the 2013 production HERE.
for photos taken during the 2006/2007 production, click HERE.

Philippe Gaulier's Neutral Mask and Greek Tragedy master class - day five (Augst 18th)

Last day. Feeling glad that I took the plunge to do this.

The Facebook page link for this workshop HERE.  My FB album of this workshop.
The official photographer Will and his photos from the workshop HERE.

Morning session: neutral mask work, playing steel.

Afternoon session with invited guests/observers

Afternoon game: Neutral mask line - "Touch Michiko"

Scene and text works -

Antigone played by EeWen, Sharon, Janet & Anrie in consecutive rounds with choruses

Creon played by Coby, Yeo & Ghafir in consecutive rounds with choruses

My play with Antigone (paired with Yeo as Creon) was short-lived but again, it was a thoroughly satisfying experience for me.  Again, I used singing to move my text along.  The soundtrack playing for me and the female chorus was West Side Story.  So I sang the text to the tune of "I Have A Love".  The regal and innocent Antigone walked tall next to the menacing Creon and his men.  I was stopped after the short monologue, and told that though my portrayal was elegant and beautiful, I came across more like a cunning politician and female villain, like Clytemrestra.  Philippe said he would call if he needed to cast Clytemrestra.

I got to continue as female chorus with Anrie as Antigone leading us.  The female chorus made a handsome Greek chorus singers.  It helped to have EeWen in the group.  At many junctures I got to assist the group by singing to the company the text of Antigone, while Antigone moved as the lady, playing alongside the really menacing Ghafir as Creon.

Magician dance - `finalists' - Jo, Bernard & Tiong Wooi
Text: Iliad [The Death Of Hector]

Antigone and Creon

 Antigone and Creon

To conclude...with my incoherent thoughts:

even two weeks after the workshop and having played over some of the scenes from the workshop in my head, it is hard for me to summarise in a technical fashion of what I have learned as an actor.  If I look at the experience as keeping count of achievements in my CV then I guess signing up for the workshop and staying put throughout count as one for me.

Constantly seizing the calls to get on stage to play is another achievement.  Having the balls to finally relax in class counts.  Staying committed to my games is another.  Watching intently while others played is big in the learning curve.

Watching classmates make love with the texts, braving on stage, playing risky games, investing high emotions into their playing...etc.

We were taught, reminded to always invest joy, ownership, commitment, organic emotions, personality into our performance.  We were taught to play with space on stage.


Priceless was what we built in class with others, the bond of minds.  And the open-mindedness of classmates, non-judgemental air of the class.  And the possibility of just playing, and laughing out loud, or crying when something moves you so.


I have to stop here as nothing intelligible is coming through but I will revisit this blog post and add to it whenever something I recall well comes to me.

Philippe Gaulier's Neutral Mask and Greek Tragedy master class - day four (August 17th)

Morning session: Neutral mask work exploring playing animals - tiger, cat, reptiles

Afternoon session: theatre garden in session

works: Antigone & Creon, Iliad (Death of Hector), Libation Bearers (Elektra & Orestes)

notes:

play space, create attractive tension by putting distance between two characters/choruses

Multiple couples of Antigone and Creon played their scenes.  Slowly Greek choruses were added to the exercise.  We learned how the lead actors and his and her choruses should help make the scene.

Somehow, something caught his attention, Philippe asked me to read The Death of Hector from my `audience seat' within the square of the `theatre space', completely without any movements except my facial expressions.  I spoke-sang the text and played all the dynamics that I knew at hand, improvising on the spot of what I thought could make the performance interesting.  My body trembled with the over-attention of not being able to use any movement to perform, my heart raced wildly as I savored the text, though I enjoyed the space given to me to make my own moment on that stage.  An indeed surreal experience.  The teachers gave me words like 'Beautiful' for some of the bits of my performance.  I wish I could remember this feeling for a long time.

Jo K and Ghafir then played the Electra and Orestes scene with Greek choruses.  The experienced actors gave us a rather delicious serving of drama...and when the class was over, a small group huddled to cry over (yes, tears) the moving performance.   Happy day.

Philippe Gaulier's Neutral Mask and Greek Tragedy master class - day three (August 16th)

Day three, I have learned how to have fun in the workshop, and get comfortable with mistakes, judgements and observation, etc.  I think I am most probably hooked on this.

Some of the games we played today using the bodies and characters of:

Marlboro men
World class models
Dancing girls

Notes:
The Greek tragedy storytellers always play well, in painting pain and tension to depict the story or a character, but never play the pain themselves, rather, they keep a distance between their role as a narrator and the characters in the story that they narrate.   They always uphold a high level of joy in their storytelling, though a tale of a tragedy.  Such is the key to captivate your audience - that you will have them come back for your storytelling for hours, day after day.

Neutral mask actors eye line level - high

Brownie for the day:

The regal Electra walking with music accompaniment.  The speech was decent, the quavering in my walk killed it.

Lines: "Was ever a sight so sweet as this?  Our father's blessing is on you."

Kick of the day: I was the text prompter for Jo K in her performance of The Death Of Hector.  Until she recovered the rest of the text herself and finished the performance with Philippe's instruction, with rousing and captivating quality.

The cow-mooing Samurais ended the workshop today.

Philippe Gaulier's Neutral Mask and Greek Tragedy master class - day two (August 15th)

"I don't care if you do good or you do bad, I just want you to give a piece of your life in your performance."

"Don't give the academic style, tell them to fuck off."

Philippe Gualier and wife/assistant, Michiko Miyasaki

The `earth-glue' turned walking humans, quoting Greek tragedy texts

The raging sea

The melting glue

Today's platform for playing the ground of tragedy:

Earth

Glue

The tempest at sea

Philippe Gaulier's Neutral Mask and Greek Tragedy master class - day one (August 14th)

The class was full of action, in variety of tempo and dynamics.  We promptly started with a game of "Samuel says".  There were lots of listening, lots of silliness, mostly there was focusing, playing with body movements and using text provided as class syllabus but we were asked to say it without much care for the text content, today.

Today we played at...


The sun and horizon

A walking and talking tree

A Greek chorus of tree

A dancing fire


A flight of small breeze or smoke


A quiet lake in September

Wake up on the snow

A lullaby singing women begging for her life



excerpts from:

The Death of Hector from Iliad by Homer

Antigone by Sophocles

Libation Bearers by Aeschylus



My brownie for the day:

1 point for portraying a beautiful, elegant Antigone - she sings a lullaby, she charms everyone in the hall, how would Creon look summoning the death of such a beautiful and regal creature.

My lullaby: Mo Li Hua
Line: "Now that you have caught, will you do more than kill me?"

of Oz, theatre, money, life

My little piece of heaven last night:

Jellybeanz is snoring softly in her sleep.  My face is inches away from her right foot, covered in cute baby jumpsuit.  The Wicked Witch is deep in her Maghrib prayer before the evening rehearsal.  The ceiling fan spins noiselessly above us.  Am so grateful for this short window of momentary solace, before we all wake up from this surreality and step back into the fantasy world of Oz. 

It's the 5th week of rehearsal for Wizard of Oz, we are 5 days into bumping into theatre.  We have sailed through the too-good-to-be-true smooth blocking rehearsals - the entire cast family of Oz are committed to make the story telling great, so the boss of Oz, Nell worked swiftly through the two-act musical, twenty-seven scenes all in all.  

Came the crucial stage of marrying the actors to live music.  The hair-pulling started, luckily, only for a few days, though it was a rather `long' few days.  The power that be jumped straight into action and waved her magic wand to right all wrongs.  Tonight am going in for another round of sitzprobe rehearsal with hopefully, the full band for Oz.

The journey has been surprisingly pleasant and incredibly fun.  I didn't grow up with the story of Wizard Of Oz, barely know any characters from the story.  The decision to dive into Oz was a decision to work with close friends and comrades and to enjoy a slice of theatre in the first quarter of the year.  

My love affair with the theatre is long and steady, not really an explosive kind but it's a genuine kind.  I don't keep a diary of this love affair but now I know I should have.

1st job: front of house & costume hand for Five Letters From An Eastern Empire (Actors Studio black box) for Rep 21 Theatre.  A job I landed and owed to the director of Oz - Nell, who recommended me to the production.

Somewhere after that I was again a coffee-making front of house staff at Actors Studio Theatre in Dataran, for an Australian staging of a small musical titled Java Jive.  And soon I was the regular face in various theatre productions' front of house, pushing program books & merchandizes, ushering audience, tearing tickets, selling drinks and snacks during intervals.  I would catch taxis and trains to get home after work, and be happy that I was part of this cool and sexy industry of performing arts.

Between then and now, is a long and eventful journey of over ten years.  I had started auditioning, I started singing classes, and I even started dancing class, I even attended acting workshops, I had even played principle roles, I hd been in big ensembles, I had been in tiny ensembles, I had even been a media assistant, I had been slighted, I had been put on the pedestal, I had shed much tears and laughed too much...

But putting down in numbers, over ten years is a long time, but I have been in only a small handful number of productions as an actor.   Though it feels like I have been around forever, especially these days as I departed from being a 20-something years ago.  I figured out why it feels like I have been in the scene for a long time, even though I have only been on stage for not over 15 productions in the last decade.  It is because I have sincerely embraced more than just being in the spotlight - (though increasingly so I find myself easing into being in the spotlight, thanks to my career move in the last 6 years) I have been an active audience member of the local performing arts for as long as I have lived in the city.  From taking a crowded Metro bus, to KTM commuter to town to catch a play, to now zig-zagging in my own vehicle to any theatre in town.  From watching a Malay straight play, to an Indian dance performance, to a breathtaking performance of Buto, to Singaporean play, to a badly staged local musical, to a stand-up party, a play with songs, to a brilliant bilingual local play, etc...I am never far from performing arts, be it watching from my seat or prancing in my heels on stage.  

In between all those scene and light changes on stage, life goes on outside.  The number of bills to pay increased steadily as I grew to be more sophisticated as a citizen of the society.  I started a real savings account, I dropped out of the 9-5 working race, I became my own boss, I became greedy for experience, I became less afraid of having my own show.  I want to live more.  I got bitten by the travelling bug recently, I want to spend my hard earned money on acquiring new sights and sounds, foreign sights, and foreign smells..

As the performing arts sector continues to struggle to break even in its arty ventures, the workers of art will need to continue finding other means to subsidize their lifelong thirst to create art.  Some theatre companies may have it better than their counterparts in securing funds for their projects, but none will be able to pay you quite handsome enough to compensate your monthly expenses and pay for your vacations too.

I recently made an unusual decision to sit out of an audition, in favour of opportunities to get more higher-pay gigs in the commercial circuits - so that I could save up more cash for a bigger vacation later in the year.

The repercussion of this new decision is kicking in as I watched others coming out of the audition room, all in huff and puff, excited about what's ahead of them in the rehearsal rooms.  My heart cries out to the internal yearning for my `theatre addiction'.

So this must be yet another inevitable milestone in soul-searching for me.  I think to myself, there must be still so much that I don't know about myself - what do I really want, do I want too much?

As I sit here waiting for the my dose of Difflam to work on my very inflamed throat - I am projecting my vision and thoughts into months from now, not in costumes with my friends in theatre for the musical that I have chosen to not audition for - I would be in rehearsal with my own musicians for a much smaller gig?  And there would only be one spotlight on stage, just for me.  As I open and close my mouth, singing lyrics from my songbook - would I be missing the crazy rush in the theatre side wings where quick costume changes take place?  

I don't know, haha, really.  Maybe I am giving this too much air time the last one week.  I need to get through this sore throat so that I can sail through all my high notes when Oz open next Saturday.

Maybe the meaning of it all lies in the endless dilemma of theatre versus money.  That one can truly be happy only in the constant quest for the impossible balance of turning down highly-paid gigs to embrace the divinely addictive opium called theatre. 

Right?  I mean, how can one be happy with just being easy?  There must be choas, lots of it before you can truly appreciate the kind of bliss I experienced last night, lying inches away from Jellybeanz' cute foot, watching her snore while the Wicked Witch prays in her white gown.

Friday afternoon in door and blogging

Watching the rain now from study window, glad to be home already. Spent the early part of today driving back from Juru. Happy, I did it :) Drove myself, Vincent and his double bass from Jalan Ipoh up to Auto City in Prai yesterday; drove us all back today, under four hours. Got lost several times yesterday, to and fro the gig venue and hotel, not proud of it but we survived it.

The downpour subsided, the loud drilling from upstairs persisted. Am listening to WVC Trio + 1 new album accompanying the noise from up there. This one is called . I got this copy off Vincent after we arrived in KL.

This is a strange prelude to a busy weekend ahead, full of rehearsals, for gigs that don't necessarily bring food on the table. These gigs are the type maybe you can call soul food. They feed your soul so you can carry on as a decent citizen in performing arts.

Am singing the role of Hope in Nick Choo's 10-minute musical titled Little Girl Lost next week (Sep 29th - Oct 2nd), the beginning of Short & Sweet Festival. It was a last minute casting move, the team hadn't much luck in casting their Hope till they rang me up (and having me say yes).

A close call it is, I have started my dance rehearsal weeks ago for Short & Sweet Dance and the schedule was just starting to get heavy as we approach the festival dates (Oct 10th - 17th). I pinched time here and there and fitted in rehearsals for Little Girl Lost. Ten minutes it may be, Nick's music and plot challenge the four of us (Fang Chyi, Elvira Arul, Sandra Wolf and myself) to paint a myriad of emotions in just one or two minutes, with the rapid fire change of tempo, top that with a finale in a 4-part sing.

While the musical demands total mental focus, the dancing front for me is no peanuts. I recovered from a few bruises from a week ago, from rolling on the floor many times in one sitting. The dance sequence requires various physical expressions and a lot, a lot more practice.

Ok, time to wrap this to get back to my script memorizing (for a short play in November). Long day tomorrow, starting with morning for the short play, then on to the musical rehearsal which I have to leave halfway to accommodate the dance rehearsal at across the road, at KLPac.

Till the next entry...soon!

actors training, day one @ Nov 9

Notes from acting training workshop, 1st session, Nov 9.

Reasoning with self:

before you win a debate with your director about anything to do with your character or why you do anything a certain way, you must first convince yourself why you do it that way.

Taking instruction:

fully understand an instruction inside out, no matter how complicated or simple, so that you can execute it well.

The people who date Spring

I missed blogging, have not been able to manage my calender well enough for my blogs. Anyway, one of my most loved and treasured elements of doing theatre work is the process of putting a show together - I love rehearsals, working on the script, memorizing lines, dance steps, the pain of not quite getting something right, and come back the next day to work on it again and cracking the scene and getting it right; of working with coaches, actors, directors, pasting it all together and the exhilaration of seeing the whole thing coming together.

Anyway, about the show.

Dama Orchestra is doing it again, combining its special blend of East & West potion of music with stage drama. This time in the musical adaptation of the award-winning play of Raymond To Kwok Wai (director of Perhaps Love)'s I Have A Date With Spring.

our poster :)

Join the Face Book group to see more pics & video clips of our rehearsals & our preview concert clips

Half of the team are familiar faces while the other half are new to me, but nonetheless the same wacky, talented, funny, noisy theatre people.

And the music!!! Not being able to play musical instruments, I worship the Dama musicians and their easy-going-ness. You know? Diva without the air? They make wonderful sounds and yet are incredibly accommodating and creative.

Ok ok, suppose I just paste the whole damn production team list here then, hehe...

The I Have A Date With Spring - The Musical team: (taken straight from Dama's site)

PUN KAI LOON producer / director

KHOR SENG CHEW producer / music director
GAN BOON WE concert master / asst. music director
LOO FUNG CHIAT & LOO FUNG YING arrangers
MELISSA TEOH production stage manager / asst. director
WONG KIT YAW choreographer
DOMINIQUE DEVORSINE costume designer
LIM ANG SWEE lighting designer
LIM WAN YEE sound engineer
LEE JIN WEN dialect coach
TAN SOO SUAN vocal coach

Tan Soo Suan (Butterfly)

Janet Lee (Lulu)

Chris Tong (Fung Peng)

Chang Fang Chyi (Nancy)

Steve Yap (Karl)

Nell Ng (Yuen Pik)

Samuel Tseu (Tai Kai Lok)

Ling Tang (Poh Yee)

Ho Soon Yoon (Bobby)

Terry Siau (Danny)

Song-Fan Seah (Tony)

Jojo Wong (Ping Ping)

Teoh Sheew Yong (Fei Fei)

Beauty Teoh (Emcee)

Liow Swee Keong (Pak Long)

Rachel Tan Tan Soo Sze (Backup singer)

Anrie Too (Ensemble & u/s Nancy)

Ng Pei Pei (Backup singer)

Chong Wey Yin (Backup singer)

Tam Yee Swee (Ensemble & manager)

Cassie Wong (Ensemble & u/s Fung Peng)

Leslie Cheng (Ensemble)

Roax Tan (Ensemble)

DAMA ORCHESTRA:

Gan Boon We

Khor Seng Chew

Loo Fung Chiat

Loo Fung Ying
See Keh Fong

Tee Hsien Onn

Lai Foo Yuen

Foo Chie Haur

There's a lot to blog about, discoveries and thoughts but till I find another window of time. I better get my ass out of here...to the hair salon, I have a corp gig tonight, yay!!!

the learning path

Funny how going to school & doing homework used to a chore...when you were 12. And your parents are the ones paying for the school fees & books.

Now, I happily spend my hard earned dough on various classes & tuition. Singing class, dance class, pilates class, speech class (NEW!!! next week!!), music camps, workshops...

Spending the whole day in school didn't cost me any cent, back then. Now, every seconds in the class ticks away the cents.

And now, every class is treasured like there's no tomorrow. You used to see the same teachers everyday and you take them for granted, "So what? I'll see her tomorrow in Math class, again!"

Now, I jump with joy every time I successfully scheduled a lesson with my high flying teachers.

Now that my brains have aged with my body, I have to race with time to speed the learning process before I get too old. But maybe with all the active learning, the aging will slow?

Here's to all who's actively learning out of school :)

Soul Doc, tomboys & angels @ Annexe this Sat...

The Annexe Gallery presents

TOMBOYS & ANGELS
Fashion Show @ Art For Grabs Xmas Special
Sat 20 Dec, 6pm
The Annexe Gallery, Central Market Annexe
Jalan Hang Kasturi

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THE HARMONY MUSIC FACTORY
featuring DJs Ribut 10:59, Bunga, Sarchan & JK
DJ Dance Party @ Art For Grabs Xmas Special
Sat 20 Dec, 7pm to 9pm

+ + + +

In conjunction with Art For Grabs Xmas Special, The Annexe Gallery presents TOMBOYS & ANGELS, a fashion show extravaganza that celebrates gender diversity and outrageous individual expressions of style.

The fashion show will feature clothes, accessories and works of art from over forty Art For Grabs arts & crafts stalls, with styling and make up by a team of some of KL's most vibrant emerging style-meisters led by Jun Kit and Ooi Ying Nee. The catwalk will be an installation that mixes politics and irreverence designed by Lainie Yeoh.

The fashion models will feature some of Klang Valley's most interesting everyday people with wicked sense of style and personalities, including:

1. Joyce Kirsten Wong - style blogger
2. Pang Khee Teik - gallery manager + photographer
3. Hazri Haili - biologist
4. Fahmi Fadzil - actor + director + writer
5. Myra Mahyuddin - photographer + publicist
6. Michelle Gunaselan - activist + writer
7. Ze - pop star
8. Bissme S - journalist
9. Sharon Chin - visual artist
10. Mien Lor - activist + filmmaker
11. Janet Lee - chanteuse
12. Sharon Bakar - literary queen
13. Shikin Eris - production exec
14. Davina Goh - actor + dancer

Come and be mesmerized.

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To cap off the fashion show, everyone is invited to our twilight dance party THE HARMONY MUSIC FACTORY, which will feature the underground greats DJs Ribut 10:59 and Bunga (from Twilight Action Girl) spinning for the first time alongside Sarchan and JK (from WILD! and Disko Darurat).

Party on!