A WIP Jigsaw Puzzle

Decluttering for parents has got me more than I bargained for.

From feeling disgusted by the amount and the type of 'thrash' they have amassed, to feeling assimilated by reading their old correspondences.

We have the kind of experiences and outlooks of things that separate us as persons, now I see that we have had all experienced the kind of emotional turmoils that have bind us as humans and as family.

Throwing out years of scribbled hand written recipes (mom), and tissue papers (mom), old work documents (dad), and a mountain of indescribable junk - though I was disgusted during the act of cleaning itself.   Now two days later back at my own station, with my own junk - I feel, a sense of recognition that what my parents are - is a part of who I am.

As much as I have always see myself as someone worlds apart from my own family, in terms of behaviour, talents and values; I now see more layers of truth to this.  As different as we all are, through the rummaging of artefacts and thrash, I am somehow compelled to embrace the differences as part of me.

In the years I have spent away from parents and not knowing them, now comes the seasons for me to get to know them in their waning years, through our challenging re-adoption of each other, and us kids going through the old documents of their yesteryears.

My sister says it's like a detective story where the detectives piece together clues and evidence of a whole, and big picture.  A jigsaw puzzle of who our parents are.

So what's in it for me?

In this work-in-progress jigsaw puzzle, I hope to find pieces of clues about myself.  Things about my family and their past that might offer some insights into my personal struggles and challenges...and help me find some light in my dark days.