Parents Series: At the home

 November 20, 2021 

 

The thing about being a human being with feelings is that – no matter how much knowledge and facts you study and soak up about the conditions of human, you are still going to feel emotional.  You can only hope that all your learnings about the conditions of life will help you manage your emotions…less messily. 

 

(Life is messy, sticky, and smelly)

 

Coming to the third week now for parents at retirement home.  I have seen them three times so far.  My sister has been several times in between, doctors’ appointments, food drops, among other things.  

 

When I watch mom during my visits, I have to remind myself not to crowd my judgement about how she is doing with my own “pre-packed” emotions.  I would have entered the visiting space with a bag of my own mixed emotions and struggling to not unpack them onto the floor.  

 

Naturally, it would get harder and harder for mom to articulate how she feels.  No matter how many times I recall that truth it will still sting you.  It’s no wonder I am still struggling to finish reading Nicci Gerard’s book [What Dementia Teaches Us About Love].  

 

Sometimes I can get some information from her about how she is doing, inside and outside.  Sometimes I get a shake of head and mumble of “I don’t know, I don’t remember, I don’t know how to explain.”  Sometimes I get a flurry of stories, patchy information about things and people, sometimes I get a few lines of a song.  

 

Over a quick lunch outing yesterday, she sang “Go go go, Ole ole ole!” to my mate Lynn who joined us at lunch.   Her favourite story about babysitting my nephew Julian and the ditty he used to sing to her – a world cup match theme song. 

 

Dad seems contented, so far.  “At least over here, I don’t need to wash dishes, do the laundry, cook rice, sweep the floor.”  And the internet connection at the home is way better than at his old condo.  He does not even need to top up his pre-paid iPad data plan now.  

 

Since the move, I am hardly home myself, wading between appointments and chores.  I have not had to deal much with cooking for myself at home.  Strangely, I am missing the days when I wake up and start planning the menu for the day, for them folks.  These days I can jump out of bed and head straight out to meetings without having to sort out any meals for them folks.   But I find myself wondering how parents are getting on over there in PJ home.  Naturally so, it’s just been two weeks and a few days.  

 

One moment at a time.  One day at a time.  

 

The people at the home is doing a great job.  I am grateful.  

 

#parentingmyparents
#taipingmali
#momandpop

#parents
#family
#demetiapatient
#janetwrites