Runs on food and music, will sing for chips and pasta.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Letter one hundred and eleven - the days go on

Dearest J,

I received 20 ang pows this year, got quite a sum for that.  I ended up giving out more than I received in ang pows - I think that's part of being grown up - you give money during CNY.  I gave red packets to Max for CNY, gave one to Tristan for his birthday.  Gave one to Yva for her birthday (Jan 28), gave one to my sister's maid.  And tonight I gave one to Mama.  I gave most of my ang pows money back to parents.

My mom is really fond of Thursday.  She offers to take Thursday back to Taiping for me if I get an oversea assignment next year, for three months.  I told her no because I don't think Thursday would work very well in that open environment, I worry that she might run out to the wild and got lost.

pic from a show last year for you, I like this one a lot.

The London trip was wonderful.  I walked so much in that pair of boots you bought me about eight years ago that my left ankle hurt badly everyday.  Am really looking forward to the beautiful trip to Scotland and Lake District in March.

Do you know that a person can be sad and happy all at the same time?  That's how I feel earlier when I left your house after dinner.  Tristan is bringing lots of joy to your folks.

Am starting singing class again with Cecelia, this week!  It's about time - because I have been over thinking about my singing technique and it's driving me crazy so it's good that I will get to face myself in the class very soon.

I bought three magazines for myself at the London airport - Time, The Economist, and The Economist special edition - The World in 2012.  I decided that I want to read the news more, and get some knowledge about the world.  So far the reading of these articles have been really enlightening.

Got really busy with my gigs last last one week.  I turned up my tolerance level for the CNY program, had everyone stuck in my flat for a good few days, everyone in the family except sister.

I stopped asking myself questions about my future for romance, I realised moments ago.  It's too time consuming wondering how to move on to a new relationship, I know now I need all the time I have now to do the really important things - sleep, do all the reading that's waiting to be read, listen to more recordings.  I know that by investing in these activities I will reap real results, - more sleep means better skin, more reading means happier, more listening means I will sing better -- all these far better than wondering when the next guy would drop in.

8th day of CNY, outside the fireworks are going crazy.  Last night from 1am up there was some dudes sawing off branches of a huge tree just RIGHT outside of our bedroom, 21 floors down, infront of the temple.  It's crazy to think that I live next to all these crazy late night repairs, road repairs, tree cutting, drunk men screaming from the road...but am in love with this place.

Will write again, don't know when, but I will write.

This weekend, my first ever show at Alexis Ampang, finally :)

miss you much,


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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Single again, the road trip continues

This is my tribute to the current buzz of the release of a wonderful Malaysian film, Relationship Status by Khairil Bahar. (I love the movie)  And also given the current status am in, single and constantly being nudged by good intenders on changing that status.

Single again, so what? 
Single again, the road trip continues.

Eight long years of couple hood bliss, the unending days of happiness.

The life before the life-for-two enterprise was not bad, I was already a happy camper of one. I remember being interviewed by a young women's magazine on being single and happy.  Soon after that interview I stepped into a new status of a girl who has a steady boyfriend, my first.

It was a ride of my life because I was taught so many things by him, and by our experience together.

I learned that it's more important to be kind than being clever.

I learned that the skill of making the best with what you have now is the solution to most agonies in life.

I learned that it's more important to spend time learning how to make a nice living, than just blindly spending time making a living.

So when it ended after eight years, I came out of it with much happiness that got rubbed off from the ride - more so because I have grown so much in those years.  I have learned how to live, we shared some pretty amazing principles of living together.  We never had all the answers to everything that we need or want to know, but we always knew what to do, or not do, about what we knew, and what we didn't know.

People say that when you meet your soulmate, that person completes you.  So when it ends, does it mean you end up being a single and a lonely half again?

If you had an amazing ride of eight years like mine, you would be whole.  You would always be a whole person, wherever you choose to go, choose to live, choose to love.

You would be a whole...

Because you would have walked away with wisdom you've gained for two persons.

Because you would have acquired the best traits from him, and be reminded of which of your best that you would keep.

Because you would now have the best jokes from two persons to impress the world.

And lastly and most important of all,

Because you would have learned so much on how to love, be loved, and to love, that whether or not you find that next soulmate later, you would always know how to love yourself and those around you.

That, was the best thing, and the most important thing that I have learned from my boyfriend, Justin.  Who had given me the best fish in his life, rid of bones.

So I say to you, and to myself, it's ok to be single again after a long, or short, great intimate relationship.  However it ended, you don't live there anymore - and we have a choice of taking with us, for the road trips to come, the best bits from that ride.

* Justin left me and his family after a bike accident in October 2011.  Many friends have asked me on how and what do I do to cope with my loss.  The above is my answer to that. Yes, the fact remains that I have lost my soulmate and most important person in the world but I never in a day of my life now forget what I have gained from my relationship.  I have gained a life, a life full of love, and a hunger for knowledge and compassion for the living.*

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Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Letter one hundred and ten - the days go on

Dearest J,

I've stopped counting the days when I write here.  Can't say that counting the days make me particularly cheery so yea, I stop.  The 'distance' can only get longer, as we get older, pages turn yellower...

Last month's Bali getaway with the gang was really fantastic.  Here's a photo of me chilling at the private villa we stayed in, Bodhi Villa, at Payangan, Desa Bukian, near Ubud.

....this letter was left hanging for days.  Won't attempt to finish it for the sake of it.  Till my next letter...

Miss you lots, 


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