Soul Doctor speaks...: The Undoing of an Obsession

The undoing of an obsession

I started keeping a sort of diary on my intermittent fasting journey since last October and it got very interrupted by work, parents and everything in between. But I was very determined to update it, and share what and how I feel about it, and how it has changed me. I feel and think it as an important story to share. I woke up at 6am today, rare – feeling refreshed – I knew I had to come to my computer and finish up this journal and sharing on fasting, and post it on my Facebook.

So here it goes – it is long, personal, but a happy story.

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March 2022

I bet you have met many just like me, a skinny woman complaining about her bloating problems. Or someone who always look good in photos, then she tells you her secret – she always sucks in her stomach when she poses.

Yup, all me. Bloating has always been on the radar, on the horizon in my life since, probably after 40 years old. Like many other things for some of us - it got worse during the lockdown.

My bloating and indigestion got so bad during the first lockdown that I kept a diary of the days when I wasn’t bloated, there were a few days in the year of 2020 when I wasn’t bloated. The rest of the times when I was performing (a lot) in between lockdown and RMCO, I literally had to starve myself many hours before putting on my slinky show dress so my stomach wouldn’t protrude and destroy my stage confidence - thinking about my offending tummy.

Then, I also started wearing show dresses (or suits) that were less snuggly and could hide a bloating stomach on my skinny frame.

It was a mess la.

Things got a little better in 2011 with the bloating but it was still something that was sucking the life out of me. I knew that stress and emotional entanglement too, affect indigestion and gut health, there was just too much on my plate for me.

Then during one of my idyllic afternoon hangouts with my BFF See Ming at her sun-filled and high ceiling living room, she suggested intermittent fasting to me, as something to try out to help get rid of my bloating.

“Huh? I think it’s a very fascinating thing - this fasting thingy but I doubt it’s gonna work for me - if I don’t put food in my stomach in the morning when it’s hungry my wind…bloating, reflux etc might be worse…”

I replied quickly with lots of excuses and speculation, like most people do…when they know a little and don’t know the whole picture of a topic.

But I didn’t brush it aside completely, I asked my personal trainer Naim a few days later when I was in class with him, whether intermittent fasting is suitable for a person with bad bloating. He said yes immediately! I started again with my doubts and excuses but he said it would be OK for me, and I should try it.

I started immediately. On the very same day. I was nervous about not being able to eat past 8pm everyday but I did it anyway.

I read up quickly on the net on what the entry level is for intermittent fasting and was going to settle for the common 16-8 format - fast for 16 hours (fast between 8pm - 12noon, or 8pm till 1pm the next day), and have food intake for 8 hours (eat between 12/1pm till 8/9pm).

It is now five months and two weeks and more into my “Life-After-IF”. My life, in the physical and physic department - have taken on what feels like, a 180-degree change.

First thing first, my bloating has gone off and down so quickly, I put up a delighted, but “wait-and-see” mentality. I kept at it, not eating past 8-9pm every night and break my fast with a meal after 1pm the next day.

It felt like a superpower. After, literally years of being a bloating-inflicted victim, I feel like I am finally onto something that is real and work for me. I could not stop talking about it to anyone and everyone. In the first two months I was like a high-achiever Mormon.

I made a lot of Instagram stories about my IF journey and wrote bits and pieces. Here are some of those little diaries:

“Don’t have a weighing machine at home but it’s obvious that my body has changed in only days.”

Day 11: October 10, 2021

The sight of my body is a little shocking to be honest. I haven’t seen that shape in…too long. The Stomach and digestion are very happy. I enjoy my food when I eat it. Last night was the first time in 10 days I ate past 8pm. I had a Bobo KL nasi lemak after my 3rd show there this weekend. Every mouthful was beautiful, as I sipped my brandy on the rocks. Will continue to make time to lift weights so I don’t look too scrawny for my photoshoots this month.

DAY 13: October 12, 2021

Still feeling good about it. Now that shows are over for a week, I’m home doing more desk-work so I do notice and feel hungrier. Yes, writing and working at my screen is very energy-draining. I drink lots of water and had an almond powder drink late last night. While I’m home this week I’ll make sure I get more workout done - weights, toning and cardio. Wish me luck.

Day 28: Oct 25, 2021

It’s been all right still so far. I’m not really super strict everyday with the 16-8 format. When I have meetings late in the day, etc. I’d get done with dinner only past 8pm, and that’s fine with me. On most days I still stop eating by 8pm.

Survived today’s long hours at fashion shoot for Monica Quen without much food (a few bites of hash brown and a piece of nugget + water) intake. Wasn’t hungry until the last 40mins of the shoot (around 540pm). Had a lovely and hearty meal after the shoot at around 8pm.

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The other truly refreshing, unexpected and the BEST thing that has come off this project, this new lifestyle and mantra is - my fixation and relationship towards food has totally changed, for the better.

I have never felt like this ever (except when I was very sick and could not eat properly):

* My addiction and cravings for late night snacks (crisps, chocolates) are gone

* I don’t stress about what to eat and how to eat clean anymore – because with this fasting, I am eating way less

* I’m spending less time fussing over food, I have free up more time for other things and when I do sit down to eat, I enjoy the food so much more.

The shift of my mindset about eating, and food - has truly surprised and delighted me. I’m still finding ways to understand this new feeling. I will keep writing and documentation my journey.

On a few different levels now, I am able to see that in the past, my previous lifestyle (as with most other people around too) has been engineered and shaped to be the anxious kind that seem to revolve around juggling work and keeping up with meal times, and several meals a day. This observation came only months after I have been on this fasting routine. The fasting has reduced my anxiety level.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying by fasting alone all my life problems have been sorted out. There are still many things that stress and worries me in my life, but I have one less problem now. I have more headspace and energy to focus on other problems to fix.

These days, whether I am working from home or with colleagues on a set or at meetings or rehearsals, I don’t have the mad dash between ordering, or making, and eating, and work. My mornings are now a more focused and leisurely window for me. I still have my warm lemon water, just warm water or my glass of immunity-boost drink (OPC-3). Then I am off to getting ready to leave for rehearsals or I pull out the yoga mat for home workout, or I get on to whatever I need to get done for the day.

Morning hungry pangs? Yes, for sure - I feel it some days (get this, NOT every day) and drinking water helps loads. And get this, folks, you may be as surprised as me when it first hit me too: hungry pangs hardly last more than a few minutes!

Trying to work while you are feeling very hungry is uncomfortable, yes, but it really does not take much to stop it, a full glass or a few gulps of water will calm you and your hunger pangs. I get on with my work or chores, and because I have set my mind to eat only past noon or after 1pm, I am ultra focused and calm, before I realise it - I am working on full force and don’t even realized when the clock strikes 1pm.

And the beauty of this is, our bodies adapt and adjust to our new routine better than we imagine. Just like what my old boxing instructor Khoo used to tell me when I complained about the muscle sores after each class, “If you feel pain, you should do the class more frequently and before you knew it, you won’t have the sores anymore.” He was right.

Same thing as when you work out more frequently, you get stronger - you won’t limp around in pain as you do it more.

Which was what happened after a few weeks of intermittent fasting for me - it got easier and easier to do.

How intermittent fasting made life better for me:

1. bloating gone down for a good 95%

2. better digestion

3. better bowel movement

4. better mood of course, because my stomach looks great

5. I have more time to do things

6. I hydrate better because I drink lots of water before my first meal

7. Less anxiety and obsess less over thoughts like “Am I eating well? Am I eating right?”

8. My body is leaner and toning up is easier than before

Just recently, the past three weeks or so; I have unintentionally got on to a “one-main-meal-a-day” routine. It happened naturally. The first few times when I notice I don’t need two meals in one day, were when I had a busy morning working from home, etc and then an appointment outside.

Now the notion of food and eating has taken on a new, a more romantic, more grateful, more positive and meaningful presence in my life. My daily work and schedule are not bound and limited and strapped down by constantly having to take break from work to eat and pacify the stomach (and mind).

Now each meal time or little eat feels like a true celebration of life and being alive, or of togetherness, when I am eating with others; and a really well-deserved break and interval from work and chores.

When my hours are not crowded by many mealtimes, the eating becomes more enjoyable and sacred, and beautiful.

To wrap this up, I want to conclude by saying that I feel EVERYONE ought to give this a go, or at least study a little about the benefits of fasting have on our health. I learned that intermittent fasting is a term coined by the western people in recent times (and made very popular), but the Asians, Indians in particular, have been doing it for the longest time – and they have been healthy for all of that time.

Here are some video links that I watched and enjoyed on the topic – they are insightful and easy to understand.

Intermittent Fasting: Handle Your Health Problems The Natural Way - by Sadhguru

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnRQJzK6yvI

Intermittent Fasting: Transformational Technique | Cynthia Thurlow | TEDxGreenville

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6Dkt7zyImk

Benefits of Fasting | Sadhguru

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgvgQgtng0U

I wish you a happy fasting, or, happy trying.