Runs on food and music, will sing for chips and pasta.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Single again, the road trip continues

This is my tribute to the current buzz of the release of a wonderful Malaysian film, Relationship Status by Khairil Bahar. (I love the movie)  And also given the current status am in, single and constantly being nudged by good intenders on changing that status.

Single again, so what? 
Single again, the road trip continues.


Eight long years of couple hood bliss, the unending days of happiness.

The life before the life-for-two enterprise was not bad, I was already a happy camper of one. I remember being interviewed by a young women's magazine on being single and happy.  Soon after that interview I stepped into a new status of a girl who has a steady boyfriend, my first.

It was a ride of my life because I was taught so many things by him, and by our experience together.

I learned that it's more important to be kind than being clever.

I learned that the skill of making the best with what you have now is the solution to most agonies in life.

I learned that it's more important to spend time learning how to make a nice living, than just blindly spending time making a living.

So when it ended after eight years, I came out of it with much happiness that got rubbed off from the ride - more so because I have grown so much in those years.  I have learned how to live, we shared some pretty amazing principles of living together.  We never had all the answers to everything that we need or want to know, but we always knew what to do, or not do, about what we knew, and what we didn't know.

People say that when you meet your soulmate, that person completes you.  So when it ends, does it mean you end up being a single and a lonely half again?

If you had an amazing ride of eight years like mine, you would be whole.  You would always be a whole person, wherever you choose to go, choose to live, choose to love.

You would be a whole...

Because you would have walked away with wisdom you've gained for two persons.

Because you would have acquired the best traits from him, and be reminded of which of your best that you would keep.

Because you would now have the best jokes from two persons to impress the world.

And lastly and most important of all,

Because you would have learned so much on how to love, be loved, and to love, that whether or not you find that next soulmate later, you would always know how to love yourself and those around you.

That, was the best thing, and the most important thing that I have learned from my boyfriend, Justin.  Who had given me the best fish in his life, rid of bones.

So I say to you, and to myself, it's ok to be single again after a long, or short, great intimate relationship.  However it ended, you don't live there anymore - and we have a choice of taking with us, for the road trips to come, the best bits from that ride.


* Justin left me and his family after a bike accident in October 2011.  Many friends have asked me on how and what do I do to cope with my loss.  The above is my answer to that. Yes, the fact remains that I have lost my soulmate and most important person in the world but I never in a day of my life now forget what I have gained from my relationship.  I have gained a life, a life full of love, and a hunger for knowledge and compassion for the living.*

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2 Comments:

Blogger karynn said...

wow... am in tears reading this. :( u r such a beautiful person. stay strong & take care dear.

8:00 PM

 
Blogger Captain Karat said...

Hi Janet...

Firstly, Happy New Year! Hope your 2013 is full of love, laughter, and also in your case, powerful soaring ballads :)

I just wanted to let you know that I just stumbled upon your blog today, while randomly browsing late at night, and then stumbled upon the story of Justin and yourself.

The feeling of your loss left me winded. Your words took my breath away and I felt every pang of longing and wishfulness for ghosts of relationships past unlike any other time I can remember... and then I read this post.

I wish you nothing but the best for your future, just as you have had in your past.

Thank you for sharing so openly and so frequently.

much much love and looking forward to bumping into you unexpectedly somewhere :)

happy new year again,

kubhaer

4:04 AM

 

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