Young Hearts

Do you remember your first crush?

I do. It was this silly boy in my class, I don't know his name now...he was cute, I think. It was sheer pleasure when I look at him and frankly, I think that crush was just on looks. Shallow me, I was eight la.

Then I remember an intense one, I was in primary five. It was a rather short but very brainy boy from another class. I can't remember exactly how I got to know him but all I know was I read his articles that got published in the local school papers, I got so obsessed with his intelligence and his articulate mind in papers (then I heard from others that he stutters). I wrote him a letter (I don't where I found the nerves to do such a thing back then, I guess I've always had it) asking to be his friend. He replied and we exchanged a few letters after that, I would read his letters again and again, I guess now I can say I was attracted to the person on papers. We never got to know each other better for some reason I can't remember but I remember going to his house once and his mom was really nice to me and my girlfriends.

I went on to have many other crushes on mainly one type of male, the slightly weird ones, some of them look a bit `off mainstream' but they all have the x-factor, hard to explain what it was.

On Friday night I met a twelve-year-old (at a 6-year-old birthday's party) who had a 3-hour crush on me, we had a really nice chat `by the chips (Lays, sour cream and classic)'. My jaw was on the floor because he had a mobile phone and we talked like twins!! His speech was matured and I guess he was fascinated with the fact that a scantily-dressed 28-year-old female would give him (mind you, a minor) the attention I gave him. He hang around me for a while when my ADULT friends arrived, he then disappeared into the karaoke room, then re-appeared to beg me to join him in the singing.

By then I was a little embarrassed by his attention (cradle-snatcher!) but at the same time believe that I can persuade him to not surf a porn site by going through the theory of `forbidden activity makes a boring activity seems exciting' with him again. CT saw it and said in a straight face: "I think you should sing with him, you wouldn't want to crush a young man's heart and leave his ego crushed for the rest of his life."

Affected by CT's words (she has the ability to make fun of funny situations with heavy thoughts), I took his hand and said: "All right let's go jamming! I'll sing one song and then I'm out of there."

I picked `Unforgettable' over `Hotel Carlifornia' and one other song I can't remember.

Then when he was leaving with his mom and his little sister, I remembered I have forgotten to give him my card, so that we could email and exchange more `conversations that was beyond other 12-year-olds' --- don't get me wrong, we were talking philosophy, not porn.

Really, I'm not as bad as you think I am.