Overhaul

It has been a whirlwind of self-doubts and an overdrive of soul-searching, last two days.  It's like an extended period of over-analyzing and over-thinking about my singing.

The FBI show at No Black Tie came and went, I had a decent turn out for a weeknight performance, according to Evelyn herself.

The stress I went through for the gig was nightmarish, with it I walked away with a few expensive lessons. Things that I think I should have the wisdom to see it coming, having been performing for years - I should have had the brains to prevent them but no.  I guess better late than never having learned.

I under estimated the workload for a performance with such little rehearsal.  

I learned never to put up a show with 95% new material being performed for the first time. Not when there is only one rehearsal, not when the music director is going through a peak period of work.

I learned to take smarter risks, if I were to venture out of a comfort zone of my voice & singing for a show, I will need to invest more rehearsal and workshop time.  In fact, I think I would, and I should for now, stick to what suits my voice best for now - jazz standards and Shidaiqu, until I get better at them, I should not venture too far away from the genres.

I should never go on stage until I have carefully considered my talking points in between songs - rambling away is not cool, however much my friends love me, there will always be a stranger or two in the audience who's watching my performance for the first time.

So yes, anyway, the clock doesn't turn back for anyone or anything, I can only look forward and move on - and it's up to me to make things better for the future.

Action plan: 

Increase the amount of high-focus rehearsal time spent on every new song

Work with a metronome 

Learn productive listening to a recording or a performance

Look forward and just keep working, ranting should be kept to minimal.