Letter twenty-three - Day twenty-five of your vacation

Dearest J,

It's a busy week.  I made an effort to go to bed earlier last night, it was still late, like 2am.  But it was a conscious effort, I am going to try to sleep early everyday.

I decided to hang around at the hotel yesterday after my sound check, instead of going home to wait till show time (10pm!).  I was packed into a room full of dancers, goody bags, performers (MJ impersonator Reizo!!!!), and very glam-up ladies of Bonita.  I had three long hours before my turn to perform after I was done with sound check and make up, and dinner.

A pic of Jordan Sam aka Reizo, aka the regional MJ impersonator.  And what a cool guy he was backstage.

So I watched people in the room, went thro my songs, and entertained Reizo and his group with opera singing.  I sang O mio babino caro for them.  I was thinking of you when I sang that song in the dressing room.  I shall try to do this more ok, entertain my fellow performers backstage with the opera culture.  I tried singing Una voce poco fa but couldn't remember the words.

This one specially for you, sexy ladies in naughty costume.  Catherine Chew (long haired) and her dancer were getting ready to perform the finale dance, Lady Marmalade.

Catherine was very sweet to me, she got a glass of warm water after watching me walked around rubbing my hands in the freezing cold dressing room (the wonder of centralized air-cond).

Now I wish I had taken more photos of the dancers.

This is what I wore to sing last night.  The theme last night was Oscar Night.  The secondhand gown I bought in Paris, Marais area, from a cool Vietnamese boy.

When I got home in the car I was suddenly blue, thinking of the empty sofa bed where you used to fall asleep, or watch TV, or play games while waiting for me to come home.  I stared into space at the window for a few minutes, and then snapped out of the blue.

All in all it was maybe about 8 minutes?  About 8 minutes of down time.  It was grand to have you...

I remember I used to tell you this -

How can I be poor with the wealth of you beside me?

I read the quote somewhere years ago.  I want to hold the wealth with me for good.  Though your body is gone.  I will live your soul in me.

I told Nell last night that I cannot pretend that I believe that a person who's passed on is STILL AROUND, because I know when a person passes on, the person is gone, forever.  You are no more, you are only here because I remember you and love you, and have tons of attachments.

Sometimes I wish I have hallucination so that maybe I can `see' you but I know better...

But am ok, I will have this wealth of you with me forever, in my memories, in me.

These letters are for me, to you.  It's the hole in the tree where one tells stories to...

Love you x 10000000000000000

B