Letter one hundred and twelve - the days go on - Valentine's Day

Dearest J,

It's Valentine's Day today and this is a love letter to you, my valentine.

I dreamed of you again last night.  You were not with us in the dream but we were there with piles and pile of photographs taken by you.  I was given an envelope of photos too, it contained photos of me, taken by you.

These days I live on dreams and hope, from inspirations to aspirations.  I live on what's left on my plate: an unquenchable thirst for life that you have left me in.  This is the life you have lived to teach me to live - to love what I do whole-heartedly and to chase my rainbows passionately.

I miss you shamelessly.  The thought of you steals me away from my busy train of activities and plunge into deep indulgence of memories of us.  When am safely tugged under the blanket of memories of you, I would purr and want to sleep in this eternity of our romance.

Your voice still linger in my ears whenever the thought of you come to me.  The image of your smile still tickle my heart into a delirious choke of happiness and laugh.  The security of your loving embrace and your loving glance of confidence are my pillar of strength.

The reminiscence of our love is the light in my tunnel.  Whenever I slip near any bleak thought of future, I just have to raise my gaze high enough to see your face and I am reminded of your love for me.  You have no idea my darling, that your love was so great that just the slightest reminder of it is enough to pick me up from my lowest on a stormy day.  The knowledge of your friendship and love remain one of the most potent ingredients in my happiness these days.

And whenever I sing on stage, I imagine my every soaring note, every soft whisper of lyric into the mic, every sighs of crescendo, is a dedication of my true love to you.

Fairy tales, dragons, astrology, guardian angels don't have a place in our belief system.  However, we had each other in our belief system - we believe in love and we believe in each other.

Love never dies.  Love will keep us together.  Love is all we need.  Love will lead the way.

I know I will never get over you in this lifetime and I never spend a second worry about that.  The way we loved each other each will enable me to go on living a beautiful life, I may be missing your hand by my side but for as long as I have my memories intact, you are never far from me.

I remember you told me to go out and find me another soul mate should you leave me one day.  You want me to always have someone lovely to hold and to cherish.  Maybe I will find that new lovely man of a soul mate, maybe I won't.  But whatever and however things would turn out for me in the future, please know that I will always be loved, because you loved me.

Here's a poem I wrote for you, my angel, my lover, my best friend, my man, my heaven, and my earth...

My beauty may fade
My hair will thin
My voice will tire
My cat may start talking one day

The music may end
The sun will grow old
The flower will wither
The birds may stop singing one day

But not us
Not our romance
Not our conversations
Not our ideas for life
Not our longing for each other

We are beyond this planet
We are above this earth
We are made for the heaven
we are designed to fly forever
Together we are love.


Happy Valentine's day.

Love forever,

B