Runs on food and music, will sing for chips and pasta.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Letter ninety-two- Day one-hundred-and-eighty-three of your vacation

Dearest J,

Am looking for a word to describe this feeling but I don't have a word yet.  This commitment I have towards Thursday.  A feeling of commitment?

You know that since we moved into this new home that I have always pride myself to keep it clean and nice.  And how I always made a fuss over our hair falling all over the place, and picking up after you.  Well, with the cat around it has been impossible to have the place clean (the way I like it) for more than a day.  I have had numerous conversations with myself about this...am I a person who is `big' enough to look past my little obsession in cleanliness, in order to accommodate to someone that I have committed to?
pic by Chelsia



I imagine if Thursday were a boyfriend, or any person - it'd be easier to rid of my property, for having intruded into my sanctuary of a clean space.  Thursday is a cat, like you used to tell people, animals can't go out and buy themselves meals or that chicken thigh - so I talk myself into this plan, and I hope this plan works out.

The plan is I shall overlook my needs for `an-always-clean-home' in order to provide a home for Thursday, until...the day comes when one of us outlive the other.

Some days I try to imagine what my last 5 moths (Thursday came on board on Nov 17th) would have been  have I not taken her in here.  Am very sure she would have been adopted from Peter's, for she is an astonishing beauty, though an eccentric one.  Her beauty have earned her a lot of attention, and many visits of guests to this home have to be credited to her...her bushy tail and that unique `Thursday-gaze'.

I haven't quite figured out how I will overlook my own needs (for a very clean house).  But I tell myself maybe it would be like a meditation.  Each time I walk into the flat that smell of her, and her `things', each time I clean up after her, etc - would be a meditation of the mind, and body.

Yea, so that's it.  Just want to share how I feel over this thing with Thursday.  What have I got towards her, am sure of what kind of love this is, I feel a sense of responsibility for her.  I reckon it has elements of love and attachment in it too, for I could have easily given Thursday up for adoption - many people would love a beauty like her, strange as she is, she is bloody cute too, with a fierce amount of character.


pic by Chelsia

Chels singing to curious cat

Many people are drawn to Thursday, Zakri


On a separate note, it's been half a year since we last saw you.  6 months, half a year.  Frighteningly fast how times leaves.  It's still difficult to go to your room and look at your things on the shelf without feeling a pinch.  I often nap on your bed there when I go over  to yours.

I taught Tristan how to high-five last night.  He seems like a pretty chirpy fella, I hope he turns out like you, always all smiles and positive.  Your mom made heavenly good dinner last night, the ABC soup was perfection, simple stir fry chow-sum was very flavourful, steamed eggs in perfect texture.

Oh ya, so I got myself tickets to Bali, 5-day 4 nights.  Booked a room in Ubud.  This a little milestone, my first conscious effort in a holiday.  Five days away just with myself.  Am going to go with my second Ayn Rand's book and knock myself out.  The sense of not knowing what am doing on the trip is bliss.

Streamyx here has been consistently down.  Signed up for Unifi and it's being installed this week.

 A video for you, from my gig last week.  Chels, Brandon helped me with cameras.  Daphne (emcee)'s manager, Joe too helped me video all my songs and dance.



Thinking of you.

Much love,

B

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1 Comments:

Blogger La Cremiere said...

that's lovely J - this blog, letters to your departed love. I shall read them. It's very well written. It must very therapeutic to write to him every so often.

4:52 AM

 

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