Letter eighty-six - Day one-hundred-and-fifty-one of your vacation

Dearest J,

It's been 12 days since I last written in.  I think about what I want to write to you often.

The left ankle is doing a lot better now.  I still wear my low heel dance shoes when I perform, foot has been too swollen to fit into my regular heels.  I don't wear slippers either, I go out in soft covered walking shoes that give better support to the ankle.  It's improving everyday.

I recorded three new demo songs with Peter's help on Monday.  The engineer that Sharon Paul assigned to me is a very helpful sweet girl, Jasmine.  We plough through three songs in one afternoon, Carmen (in Mandarin), The Very Thought of You (dedicate to you specially) and Eternally (in Mandarin).

Am printing 100 copies of these demo CDs.  I compiled a set of 10 songs for this disc.  Seven other songs that I recorded since 2007.   Am getting Callie to do the CD cover design and inside leaf design.  Am using a few photos taken by you on this CD.

Mama's got a new pair of hearing aid.  Your mom left on Monday evening for her holiday in New Zealand.  I bought her a Platypus for the trip, right before she left for the airport.

It's been a busy start of the new year.  Bookings trickle in and fill up January through March.

It's been thrilling to be constantly at my desk sending out invoices and setting up repertoire lists for gigs.  Thrilling to be constantly packing my Hush Puppy roller bag with my costumes and heels, and singing, singing, and singing away.  In the rush and hustle of all these, little slips of worries and wonders wander up my mind - where do I head from here?

Sure, I could feel it in my pores that with every dinner show I do, I improve a little by little.  Mixing calculated movement on stage with intention to lose myself (not my voice) with every song.  I still haven't gone to start my class (again) with Cecelia.

Your mom's been telling me to `get a new boyfriend'.  I feel very bad because I don't know what to say to her every time I hear it.  I think I told her on Monday that most great guys in KL are gay (or married?).  I guess  the other thing is that am out of practice, I don't get guys.  I was out of `industry' for 8 years and my expectation these days is all different.  Nowadays I expect to have a great time, being alone.  For a good time, I expect to get the experience from books, shopping, food, staring at Thursday and ya, singing.

I suppose that's great, to not have any expectation from men.  But anyway, there are no men around.  I miss you lots.

Love,

B