work it

I feel really bad, I am a really bad girl.  This is a worse feeling than regretting over having an outburst at someone.

This is a feeling of knowing that I have disappointed other colleagues in my work due to my poor discipline.

I am deeply embarrassed, for being less than professional.  I have many reasons and causes for my lack of preparedness in these pieces of music, but they are lousy - a musician will always find a way to be prepared no matter how horrible her schedule is.

So I gotta have a plan, a working plan for all my homework for the Bach, the Mozart, the Vivaldi....and work it.

I have to work it, hard.

To prevent this awful awful feeling in the next rehearsal.