Letter eighty-five - Day one-hundred-and-thirty-seven of your vacation

Dearest J,

Susheela told me she watched an interview on TV the other day, of Janet Jackson, talking about her coping with her brother's departure.  Janet says that she is now at a stage where she focuses on being happy.

I think of you often on the days when I don't write here.  Now I remember not too long back I told Nell that I was through with mourning but I find myself, more often than I had expect, sit around and feeling like shit missing you.  I cleared out your wardrobe in the study last week, and re-organise a few things around.  Packed your socks and underwear, and your white shirts.  Wasn't easy, but necessary, I know, it is part of my journey.

Speaking of Janet Jackson focuses on being happy, show you here a few shots of happiness.

pics by Callista, Feb 7th, 2011

Had a bad fall at audition on Tuesday, sprained my left ankle.  Was on doctor's painkiller and the following night I had a dinner show, I did the dance routine with my back-up dancers as rehearsed, no pain.  The swollen foot was covered under my fishnet stockings and inside my low heel Latin heels.

The clients were happy, I was happy.

Not so good for the foot that needed rest.  Here's a picture from the gig...

pic by Brandon Lim

The swell has gone down a little today.  I slept with the food rested on three pillows, greater height elevation helped.  I stayed in whole of today and mostly work on my desk with my left foot on the table. Fed myself with my leftover pasta salad.

Just spoke to Mama on the phone.  Told her am nursing the foot at home.  She said there were four tables of guests at her birthday lunch on Tuesday.  She said she and gang went to visit you today at the park, with Aunty Alcie and Aunty SeeMing.

Finally booked a slot to record a new batch of demos.  This month should have been the month for my project of a tribute concert for you, to debut the song I wrote for you...it's not quite done and there is no concert.  I will make sure the song see day light one day ok.

Ok, on with the night.  Work some more, shower, eat, read (am at final part of The Fountainhead, it's so exhilarating) and put my foot up.  Am good.

This little movie here, is you, and I.




Love you always,

B