My waking from stupidity

I'm usually the one in a group who has the lowest tolerance for stupidity in others and I make it known too.

Last night it couldn't be any clearer that I'm one of the stupidest person I'd love to chide.

At the wake of my own stupidity and foolishness, I had a timely conversation with C, which couldn't be any wiser, the advise from her.

A bit of background, let's just say that I've allowed myself to be taken for granted by some people, in full awareness and I made the choice of continuing to be the one who can't say no to people. These characters have been continuously expecting favours from me without asking for it and in return, made me feel really bad for myself because it seems like they think they deserve these acts of favours from me, for no good reason.

If this fool (giving favours and being taken for granted) was someone else, I would have observed and snicker, thinking the person must the biggest fool for allowing herself to be taken advantage on.

All this time I didn't see that I've made a choice to be these people's door mat. I could have stopped being nice to these people after seeing that what I do for them are not appreciated, but merely as routine in their lives, like part of their breathing.

Last night was my final draw, had a minor out burst...if you can call it that, it was just me and myself there. I felt like a complete idiot, someone I'd love to slap for being foolish.

So the conversation with C went like, I shall just highlight the very advise she gave me, simple and neglected by myself before today.

C:

".....because you need to be generous with yourself first. that's not the same thing as being selfish. if you don't take care of yourself, nobody will. if you take care of other people, they may not even appreciate it.

sometimes we go the extra mile without being asked, but in time, if those people who are at the receiving end responds with gratitude, then you know it was a gesture well given.

don't just give. give wisely. "

Today am a new person, my own generous person who would be generous to myself.