Old Photos

My boss and I were looking through old office photo albums, picking out good ones for our agency to use in the corporate video. It was real work because most photos were boring photographs from major events, projects and bla bla bla.

We found shoots of ourselves here and there, we sat there and laughed at each other. We found an album of pictures from the first staff training I attended after joining...in 2001. Everyone in the office were so skinny back then...we looked like kids. Both he and I couldn't put the album down, we like looking at ourselves in old photos and go:

"Wow, man, look at that, I look so young and scrawny then...my hair so different!"
"I was sooo cute and so young...my legs so skinny!!"
"Hahaha, look at XXX, she was actually that cute?"

In a way we kind of like what we saw in the album but no one fancy travel back time and live those moments again.

We've moved on and grown out of those past moments. We have more white hair and more liabilities/responsibilities but we rather have these than going back. I for one, am grateful for what I am today and for what I have today. I'm grateful for my haves and I work on my have-nots. Looking at old photos I'm reminded of what I did not have back then and lord, no way I want to go back there.

I did not have a car and I'm so grateful I have one now, mobility is THE life!
I did not the guts I have today in going on stage to sing.
I did not have the sense of independence I have today.
I did not have the heart to care and love for someone like I do today.
I did not have the level of patience I have today and it has made life a lot easier.
I did not have the fear-not attitude that I'm slowly acquiring through reading, friends' guidance and life experience.

On that note, I quote a para from Po Bronson's [What Should I Do With My Life]:

"Fear is like a wound within our emotions. You heal a fear much like you heal a cut on your finger, you ignore the cut, it will get infected, but it will heal itself if you pay attention to it and give it time. Same with a fear. First, recognize its existence -- what kind of fear is it? Is it fear of poverty, of loneliness, of rejection? Then use common sense. Don't let the fear get infected. Often we burn 70 percent of our emotional energy on what we fear might happen (90 percent of which won't happen). By devoting our energy to other emotions, we will heal naturally."

....I think on a day like this, an entry like this really makes my blog sounds like some new age self-improvement/self-help site...yucks, but I can't help it, I like this shit.

And I shall continue...

I will always look forward to tomorrows. I cherish the memories but I love the challenge tomorrow gives me.