I Wish

I wish I could apply for a receptionist's position. I hear that job doesn't pay well but I think I'd love it. When I first finished college, all I really wanted to do was to work in Tower Records as an attendant, or make coffee at Star Bucks...somehow I got sucked into the `real world'.

You see I can't turn my passions (singing n fashion) into a full time job yet, so I think to have a brainless job that pays is lover-ly. A job so brainless that I could reserve all my energy for something more important, after work.

Unfortunately that job doesn't pay for my lifestyle. If I change my lifestyle to afford that pay, that means I would have to `discount' my passions too...right? Hmmm...

What's my lifestyle?

A nice address with nice (CLEAN) apartment
A car with
Maintainance whenever it's called for
Singing class (same price as my rental!!!!)
A mobile phone facility
Shopping
Nice food
Social life

Surely I can figure something out, with help from friends like ML. She is someone I know who took up an entry-level pay and took a pay cut a few months after she started working and can still:

(this is Singapore)
- afford insurance
- go to gym (Government gym, she said, very cheap, SD 2.50 per entry)
- best ticket at David Tzao's KL concert
- occasional shopping

I suppose I just haven't been discipline about things I should cut down. Like buying shoes like crazy, magazines (they are for my research now!!!), eating out in fancy joints, etc.

Justin told me about this girl he knew back then whom he admired for her brains and beauty. I met her once, the day before she got married, a beauty. Let's call her V. V is really passionate about playing scrabble, she is so crazy about it that she spent all her time outside playing scrabble and focus on getting better. She worked as a receptionist, she went to work on time and leave on time too, so that she can get home early and play scrabble. She went on to play at tournaments and her position got higher and higher as she improved.

The job was really nothing important to her, it was means for something bigger for her - Scrabble. For most of us, our jobs are not something we feel passionate about and yet we spend more energy and time on them (thinking, worrying) as if they are more important than LIFE itself. We are trained from young to aim for `high' positions that we will get respect from, no parents bring up their kids to be happy and kind to people, they all want us to be successful (rich) and then, they believe, we'll be happy then.

This is such an old topic for me, I've thought about it so many times...

Our society respects people who are good at their work, we worship the man who runs a corporate empire, who is responsible for all the great things in the company, their shareholders' pay checks, etc.

And people who are genuinely concerned about people and the environment, are occasionally mentioned in Star Metro pages.

Our system only recognizes people who contributed to the economies, who cares about the ones who help other people?

When I retire from a normal job, that would be when my life starts and when I start to make a difference.

Why not make a difference today?

Today, also can, now part time first la. Next time I can `make difference' full time.

I wish that day come soon.