I'm Broke But I'm HAPPY

This is absolutely my favourite Alanis song, Hand In My Pocket. Don't you just love the lyrics and feel so totally connected to the song?

Hand In My Pocket

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

I'm broke but I'm happy (I remember someone commented here there's a difference between pleasure and happiness, right now I guess I can't tell)! I'm a little worried how I will manage next month...pianist fees, pocket money to parents, savings, rent, credit card, gas...festive season expenses (Devians, are we exchanging gifts?), etc.

But I don't care, I know this is going to be one great year end depsite the anxities at work (projects over due, collections not done) and all that, things are going to be exciting!

I'm just so excited to be alive, this very second. I have this `high' that I can't really explain what caused it except it feels so sudden, I have tons of stuff not done and I have very valid reasons to be worried but I'm not....I feel quite mad, really.

I think hard and I came up with these, maybe this sudden surge of excitement and euphoria have something to do with events in my life....

All the exciting events taking place this year end:

1. My first ever vocal/singing exam taking next week, all the preparations SHOULD pay off.

2. My first ever participation in the National Art Song Competition - National Finals on Christmas day in JB...new friends and new level of singing.

3. Speed dating on Sunday!

4. Malaysian Kini dinner with SM on Saturday night!!!

5. My dad is going to see my car for the first time in December!!!

6. I had a break-through last night, I was bugged by a negative thought and was really depressed for about two hours but I got out of it all by thinking positive!! Sounds crazy? But it happened to me.

"I really shouldn't wallow so much in this, there are far too many better things to do with my thinking time.",
"The decision is with me, on whether I will be fine or not. It's all up to me, really.",
"I'm really too lucky a person to be be wasting my emotions, time and energy on this."

7. December!! Party time!

8. I had a great recital last week and so many people came to watch me!

9. M Opera said they want me!!!

10. Watching KL Singers with Sin SIm next week!

11. I'm just happy NOW and I'm ok with that.

Sigh, feeling a little dizzy now. Anyone care to share their simple happiness with me? Do tell! Life is too short!