Little Green who kept going till the end

I’ve contemplated not posting this for a few days but this morning as I’m tending to my plants (needing serious care) and chatting with friends about plants and COVID, I decided I will post this. 

Bought this bitter gourd from the local grocery. My kitchen knife is a sharp fellow. With one decisive move from my hand holding the knife, it opened up to this little...fat, juicy and green fella squirming in its own body fluids. I gasped and stopped in my track, I could feel my eyes widened with, breathlessness, pity, sadness and guilt. I stood there, over the kitchen sink and stared at it for maybe a good minute (or less, but it felt like a long time) before I decide to cut away the bits with the worm’s body and kept the rest to eat/cook. I then look at the bit with the head again and realized, lo and behold, it was still moving and squirming. “Is it writhing in pain or..?” I didn’t know what else to do except to video its last movements for my own selfish, guilt-shock remembrance. 

To remember now fleeting life is, and how shocking and amazing that I’ve managed to stay alive for 44 years. Just the magnitude of my shock and how ‘casual’ this death of this little green guy was. I should name it? It was moving till the end, I honor you. I placed it and the rest of the cut away bitter gourd in my @foodcyclermalaysia machine so that it all came out as soil amendments that would be useful for gardening. There, at least my experience now have a form, visuals and in words. 

Goodbye Little Green. 

Love life, even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard.