Letter ninety-four- Day one-hundred-and-ninty-seven of your vacation

Dearest J,

Louis the taxi guy is coming at 645am to get me to LCCT.  I have booked a taxi pick up at the Depansar airport to get me to Ubud Inn.  Went to bed at 430am yesterday, packing.

Spent the day with my mom.  Though without my dad and brother there, I felt what I think is family bliss.

Started the day with some `cat house-keeping'.  I cleared out Thursday's old litter and changed a new tray of fresh pine, washed the tray inside out.  Took mom out to meet Seeming and gang.  Ordered mom a vegetarian Bim Bap rice.  A leisurely lunch with mom, Sim & Seeming, with Max in tow.  I bought your mom a pair of old beaded slippers from the Amcorp market.  Brought mom over to yours say hi quickly to the ladies.  Mama was busy with MahJong but she spared us some minutes, we hovered around her home made bags and I bought a bunch for a few people, mom included.

Rushed over to sister's.  The in-laws were there for the cake thing, Joel turns 3 tomorrow.  Planted myself on her soft rug the entire afternoon, read my sister's article on her laptop, listened to mom and her talked, napped, woke up and eat some incredible egg salad.  When Julius came home from teaching, we all head out to hotel buffet dinner.  I came home after dinner to on with my own packing.

My sister's article is titled Growing Up In Malaysia.  I read with awe and took my time to read and digest the details.  It tells stories I never knew existed, I didn't know my family used to live in a home often flooded, and another where there was no built in toilet.  Life were so different before I was born.  Now I realised I hardly remember much of my family life before I was six...

My mom has spoken of the life of Dad's poorer times but I never really got to hear about the years before I came into existence in an organised fashion.  There have always been decent home food for as long as I can remember - minced pork dish with pickled vegetables, fish, eggs, chicken and vegetables (which I didn't know how to eat then).  Today I was told that dad and mom often had to complete a meal with just rice and soup from the noodles from take out - leaving my sister and brother to have the meehoon and noodles.  Mom said when I was born dad gave her a budget of RM 500 for her confinement treatment, a grand luxury for them then, also probably something my dad couldn't afford during my siblings' time.

...and what kind of food my dad afforded for his working meals in the early days, etc.  And what kind of family outings (very very rare ones) we had before I had a memory.  Mom said dad would take me and my brother on his bike to the movie, my mom would have to bring my sister on her bicycle to get there.  There was always a car in my childhood - I didn't remember anything about the pre-car days...now I know.

Though I have vivid memories of the type of singing games I used to play with my siblings.  Brother was the `follow-spot' guy with a torch light.  The stage was a room in the rented house we lived in (it had 5 rambutan trees!!), after you shut the only wooden window the whole room was pitch dark, you barely see your own fingers.

Am glad I have some stories to take with me to Ubud.  Everything I own now seems like a big big gift from the past, from what my parents worked hard for.  Everything will sparkle like magic.  Funnily this morning I woke up, though with not enough sleep, I stared into the mirror after shower and was never more grateful for my body...I am not sure what came over me to have that feeling in that moment.  I eyed all the scars and blemishes on my body with a sense of proudness and true love.  I stared at my naked face in all its glorious dark eye rings and what not, and felt happy for myself.

This face, pretty or ugly, has survived and lived all these years.  And was loved so much by you.  You really like my face without any trace of make up.  I love this face...exactly like this, because of what happened to it.

Ok, time to try some sleep before I get to LCCT.

Thinking of you, much love,

B