Love Hate Relationship

Since pay day I have spent only RM44 on unnecessary accessories/clothes.

Shades, RM 19
Fashion watch, RM 25

That's three days, my normal account is about RM 100 (MNG sale, The Curve Sunday stores...earrings going RM 10 for 3 pairs, you know what I'm talking about!!!).

I went to the ATM and took a lot of cash out on Friday which most of it has gone to rental and singing class. I still have the stash that will go to my credit card this month. I have not used the card for months now so I should be paying off the sum very soon.

But looks like wherever or whenever I skim, there will be new expenses. (off topic -I hit a car on Saturday after big fat lunch, fell asleep on the wheels and kissed some guy's ass, a Proton Saga. Poor fella must have been rushing home to see wife and kids. I sent him straight to my smart-ass mechanic in Sunway and told him that I will settle his repair bill there. Lucky for me, his bumper repair will cost slightly less than my monthly rental...still)

The moment I had the cash with me on Friday it hit me I will have very little left (compare to what I used to earn), I girthed my teeth and walked pass MNG, Zara, Sasa...and sat down at Secret Recipe, a treat for not shopping at MNG and celebrating pay day (ie. paying bills) and a hard-working week. Had soup and chocolate cake (with vanilla ice cream of course) with my new stack of magazines for the month (agency work).

I have been experimenting different ways of thinking to resist shopping. My first was:

Everytime I buy something I wanted but didn't need, I shall go home and practise my vocals for an extra portion of time. J told me it was downright denial. Yes, I guess he was right, that is NOT HELPING, that's twisting the truth.

Today I walked past rack of jeans going cheap (still unnecessary items though cheap) in Carrefour while buying some office supplies, I stopped. "No, I will not give them the business. I should make every pair of my jeans sitting at home count for every cent that I paid for. If they dont fit or are not flattering anymore, I will transform them into something that fit and will flatter...refer to my old entry on revamping your wardrobe.

I shall use the tips myself. I will go home tonight and make some new clothes from my existing ones, to satisfy my craving for NEW (second hand clothes are also NEW to me) clothes.

But somehow it seems, just recently, I have developed a funny kind of craving for spending on food, lots of food. Not that I have since started to eat more, but I have since started to think about eating and food a lot more often...

J once told me the solution is to be happy.

If

Shopping makes me happy = Happiness

Eating (unnecessarily) makes me happy = Happiness

then

Already happy, being happy, etc = Happiness = not over-eating and not over-spending

his solution for getting there, ie. skipping shopping and eating unnecessarily, was to exercise, and be generally happy and contented with what I have.

Sounds easy...but it's easier to shop then to exercise (I work next to the mall, I hate running). I'm generally quite happy and contented with my life but shopping feels more like a sister, a loved one and not something I use to BE happy...

Well, whatever it is, if I want to survive in my new job and new environment, I had better make shopping my new enemy...forget the fact that sometimes part of my job is to shop (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).

p/s am still looking to sell my old NEW shoes, and...oh, you feel like your wardrobe needs a revamp? Call me, am the fairy god mother of your wardrobe.