Telemarketer

HSBC telemarketer (HSBC): Good afternoon Ms Janet, we are calling you to thank you for supporting our bank for using a HSBC credit card holder.

Me: *groan* mmmmm

HSBC: May I introduce our latest offering?

Me: *groan* If you are selling something then no, I'm not interested; if you are giving me money, then yes.

HSBC: .....ok, it's a protection plan.

Me: What protection?

HSBC: It's a road accident protection plan.

Me: Huh? HSBC sells insurance now?

HSBC: 'Mdm, we only offers this package to HSBC credit card users.

Me: ok....so what is it?

HSBC: It's a RM 125,000 refundable protection plan that covers you in Malaysia and outside of Malaysia, at a fixed premium of only RM 21 per month.

Me: Refund? What's the difference between reimbursement and refund?

HSBC: Refund here means if you don't claim anything from the insurance, 30% of the paid premium will be returned to you, every five years.

Me: (punching numbers on calculator)...so you mean in five years' time after I have paid about RM 1,260 in insurance premium I will get back RM 378 if nothing happens to me?

HSBC: Yes mdm. If you are interested we can send over the completed policy papers to you in two weeks.

Me: Papers? Don't you need my signature on any forms or anything?

HSBC: No mdm, as this is a hassle-free insurance plan, you can confirm your registration on the phone?

Me: What? Well, how would you know that you are talking to the card-holder on the phone? What if I'm someone else posing as Janet?

HSBC: Mdm, we got your name and mobile number from the card department so it's quite safe.

Me: But we are on the phone you don't know I am!

HSBC: If you are proceeding with the plan we will pass this call to the verification unit to verify your ID.

Me: I see, well, ok, sounds fair, can you call me again tomorrow so that I have one day to think about this?

HSBC: ....would you like to proceed mdm?

Me: Can you call me tomorrow?

HSBC: *Hang up phone* Thank you mdm, bye.

That's why I'd hate to be a telemarketer. The job makes you do idiotic things to strangers.