Simpler times...

I’m sitting here, trying to gather all my memories of back when - to a point in 

my life where distractions were far and few, when expectations to succeed was zilch, 

when doing something was for the sake of the joy of doing it. I couldn’t help but 

tear up, wondering if I can step back in time to summon the innocence. 

Remember when we listened to an album (on cassette or CDs) over and over?

Back in school days, I knew all the lyrics to my favourite songs on NKOTB 

(New Kids On The Block) cassettes, every second of the recordings.  I could hum 

all the tunes on my precious collection of Yukie Nishimura albums.  

Those were the times I knew every detail of the radio hits - Paula Abdul’s Rush Rush, 

Mariah Carey’s Emotions, Dream Lover...and I never cared if I actually sounded like 

Whitney Houston, in my mind I did everything I knew how to do - 

to sing exactly like her, I Will Always Love You, etc...

And all those school holidays were spent like a real holiday, just reading 

books after books. No stopping for anything when I was reading, just turn the 

pages until you’re tired and sleepy, or need to go toilet. No stopping because of 

a text message about something more interesting..

And days before Facebook and YouTube, I’d listened to a ‘mixtape’ playlist that 

I copied from Zalina Lee’s computer - more than a decade ago - and I’d 

play those songs to death...now I don’t even go back to that list. 

There were Jill Scott, Ella Fitzgerald, Nina Freelon, Erykah Badu, Sara Vaughan, 

Santana on that playlist.

And then there were those Italian arias and art songs, I could sing them 

backward because during the singing competition seasons, and the 

one exam I sat for - all of my free time was just devoted to practising.

I get emotional just thinking of those days of lesser responsibilities, 

all we do is just sing, practice, and play your records over and over.

Now that my bookings/business has came to a halt. I have the time to 

let this fact sink in, and make a deep imprint on my mind - Wei, do you realise how 

bloody long have you not done things without distraction?

Even with my smart phone perpetually on silent, and my WhatsApp 

set to no notification - my mind is still crowded with a million things to do, 

to accomplish. It’s no wonder I don’t do many things well. A master of none, 

for I seek pleasures and joys from too many things.

It doesn’t have to be this way. This desire to do many things, 

and the impatience...A race to the finishing line. The need to complete 

the learning in one day. The urge to sound perfect in every take.  

The incessant envying of other voices. The nagging voice of 

needing to contribute to the “noise”.  

I bet you’re exhausted already just reading this.

There’s got to be a way to juggle this - keeping the noise and distraction at bay, and yet not losing 

touch with the pace of everything is going.

What’s your take on this madness?

But I know my madness is largely my own doing, for the person I (still) am today - 

wanting to do too many things and not giving each task enough time.  

Around me I have friends who still manage well in living their balanced, 

less distracted lives. MCO or not, they are above the water.

Just writing these down for my own reminder. To streamline my projects, 

to be more dedicated to each of the activity I want to do.

p/s - just putting some context to my lamentation above: Having new 

gadgets at home for my music work - a mic and Pro Logic X, 

have rushed me into making polished recordings at home, fast. I have 

forgotten that I have in fact just learned how to sing in a studio 

a few seasons ago, with so little practice in between, what do I 

expect from doing it on my own without a producer? I need to find a 

balance point between picking up new tricks, and dedicating time to 

sit with my older habits, the more sensible kind - giving plenty of 

carefree time to do each thing.

Back to school days, come along now.