the way forward

It's not my intention to make the universe jealous of the wealth I have with me...just that it's a grand life to have someone like J around, my pillar of strength, my best friend, my wise one, the biggest fan in my singing.

Was feeling very lousy last night after a nerve-wrecking rehearsal, another case of my mind (my inner monster) working against my plans.

He said to me, the only way forward is to work harder and practice more. Whatever happens on stage is secondary in importance to the amount of hard work am willing to put in.

Also, he said I have to `just jump on stage' more so that I get less nervous with it. "Leave your ego off stage and just get on it, so that you get the practice you need."

So I decided there and then (am the one who decides very quickly and sometimes too fast) that I will just dive in and sign up for a classical singing competition in Singapore this August. The adrenalin flows quickly at the thought of numerous practices I will have for that and the rush of preparation. If this excites me so much so easily, it has to mean something big right?

At practice today I shared these thoughts with my new friend, or maestro R. He offered his insights as a qualified and informed musician :)

and...

It's a relief to know that it's ok to not like your own sound or voice. The subject of matter is to understand that for classical singing, the focus should be on developing your technique and music, which will help to make that sound of yours, your own.

Unlike popular & jazz singing now, everyone has a preconception of what it should sound like, and young singers do a lot of just copying someone's style and sound, or tone.

Classical singing is an art where you need to be honest with yourself and just work, it's where you cannot pretend to sing it well...

He thinks I should continue with my classical repertoire because I have a sound for it. I said, I don't like my own sound much...which led him to tell me the above.

...but relaying this here now hardly does justice to what he explained to me just a few hours ago. I think it's best that I pick his brain again, and to understand this topic about classical singing again in better detail.

Next entry, perhaps, where I shall attempt to better, more eloquently put this subject.

The Cellish & I, this Wednesday July 7th, at KLPac, Pentas 2.