FB post dated March 31st - "Talk yourself out of bad situations"

The lesson this morning is 'trust' and 'positive-thinking' - not something I instinctively subscribe to every minute of my day - you can say that it's not yet my second nature.  But after my experience this morning, I would definitely want to make it as part of my reflex :)

This is a bit of a long-winded roundabout way story but I trust that should you choose to read…you may enjoy the ride :)

I went to the wet market down the road that I have discovered recently (of course it's been there for years) - to shop for fresh goods.  The market is a lot smaller on Mondays, the number of vendors for fruits and vegetables were no more than two or three stalls each. I looked around under my hat and from behind my vintage shades, sense of self-doubt welling up: how could I make sure I would pick the freshest produces and how could I make sure these ladies at the stalls won't rip me off at prices?  I walked around looking and thinking, quite convinced that they would charge me more because I look clueless and new there.

Fortunately the will to have fresh vegetables and fruits to eat at home this week was strong enough that I didn't turn back and leave.  I bought three pieces of sweet potatoes, was charged RM 4…I thought it was expensive, but I paid up anyway. I stayed with this stall and bought more from this lady, 12 apples for RM 10, one kilo of passion fruits for RM 10 - I think these prices are fair.  At that point I have decided to trust this fruits stall lady and trust that she wasn't out to rip me off, so I bought bananas from her too - at RM 5 per kilo.

Next was vegetables.  The first item I picked up was a a packet of jagung, two fresh ones in one pack.  "How much?" The skinny elderly lady there told me it's RM 2.50.  I recall that this would cost more than RM 3 if you find them in the supermarkets - so I continued to snoop around and put more vegetables in my basket.  One bunch of Hong Kong choy-sum, RM 4. I also picked broccoli, french beans and two cuts of lotus roots.  The whole bill came up to RM 14 for all that - I was happy.  I think it's pretty good deal - RM 14 for 5 types of vegetables.

Happy with my purchase, I rewarded myself with breakfast at the corner restaurant down the road from the market.  I ordered a bowl of curry laksa noodles.  The huge bowl came, filled to the brim with cockles, curry chicken and fish balls, among the eggplant and long beans, all cramped in the thick curry soup.  I returned the bowl and explained that I don't want any of the cockles and chicken business; and that I was used to curry laksa noodles with only the noodles and vegetables and tofu.  They removed all the meats for me and served me.  The noodles looked deadly overcooked - I was convinced.  I was right, the meehoon and yellow noodles were soft and slimy.

I debated with myself on whether or not to just pay up and leave to eat at the other stall that I frequent more.  "The boss would think am such a brat to do this, with no regards for money." ...I decided to sit back and try to eat maybe only the vegetables in the oily curry soup and talked to myself, "There's no need to waste this bowl, what you could learn from this is not to order this again from this stall, or to go to other stalls if I want curry laksa.  This is just one meal out of so many future meals am going to have - there's no need to kick a big fuss over a breakfast."   The minute my mindset changed, my breakfast began to taste better - somehow the soft meehoon wasn't as slimy before and the vegetables were great.

I didn't finished the entire bowl but I finished most of it, not wanting to overstuff my stomach.  Awe consumed me the whole time - I was amazed at how quickly the quality of my experience change at the turn of my thinking.  Never before I was this convinced about positive thinking.

So there, I had a great time this morning because I learned to trust that people aren't out to con me and that things aren't as bad as they look :) If you actually read this far, I sincerely trust that your week ahead would be a rather fantastic one, if you could talk to yourself like I did this morning ;p

#living #janetwrites #trust #positivethinking #vegetarian #groceries #jalanipoh #currylaksa #wetmarkets #reflections

How Do I Love Thee (for Unreserved, The Malaysian Reserve)

For Unreserved's Valentine's Day issue

Printed in [Unreserved] by The Malaysian Reserve 

February 2014 volume 1 issue: Love - the seasons and reasons

I first met him in 1996 when I took a job in

n his company during my college break.  Years later after I left college and started working at a place that happened to be near his house, we started hanging out sometimes.  He told me much later that he got interested to get to know me better after watching me compete in a singing competition back in 2002.  

Thereafter we started spending a lot of time talking, and do things like attending talks (I remember we had a date attending a DAP dinner forum), watching concerts at No Black Tie, queuing up to get a passport renewed, go for bike rides and taking photographs of the night sky, etc.

We became a couple after we talked about our feelings for each other, after months of hanging out as buddies and exchanging lots and lots of conversations.

My understanding of love has extended over to my growing (but never ending) understanding of life and how I aspire to live, through my relationship with Justin.  Our approach to love and romance is similar to how we look at life – live and let live: to give full support and encouragement to your partner in doing what he loves to do.  To love someone is the desire to makehim or her happy, by understanding his dreams, passions, his hopes and his nightmares.

That is what I have learned from my relationship and friendship with Justin.  When I first started seeing him I was clingy and dependent, and wanted most of my activities to revolve around being a couple but it hurt us badly and we broke up for a few months.  When we got back together we were better friends and lovers, I guess we had found a balance between being our ownpersons and being each other’s best friends and lovers – we found the perfect match of space and intimacy for two friends.

In many ways I guess I could say that it’s never changed since the day I saw him for the last time - Justin met with aroad accident on his bike outing with friends more than three years ago and departed.  I think of him now with the fondest memories of course, abide the melancholy tone of loss.  He has left me (and am sure many others too whom he had touched with his kindness and life’s outlook) with one of the best gifts in my life – the desire to be a kinder and generous person, and to live simply, but not without passion.  

I have no regrets.  If I hadn’t gotten into that relationship with him, who knows if I would be driving today – he took my hands (literally) and walked meto a nearest driving school near his house and signed me up for driving classes, “So that you can drive yourself around to attend auditions and rehearsals.” He said.

If I hadn’t been with him, I might remain a silly petty person who gets angry over things I have no control over, instead of going with the flow and make the best out of situation at hand.  If I hadn’t been a recipient of his affection and admiration,I may not have the courage and balls to remain in my job now as an independent and freelance performer who needs to know how to strife for excellence, fails and picks herself up again, over and over in this road to passion.

I am not seeing anyone at the moment but I am seeing a lot of myself though!