Confession of a self-righteous blog reader

I received a comment on my previous post on the shopping blog. I decided to publish it and well, blog about it.

Dear Soul Doctor

We would like to give you a commendation for your effort in being sexy and getting more of us local and immigrant men aroused.

They say that if you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem.

Thank you for being part of the solution to the problem of not having more sexy women that can arouse and titillate our local men (Mat Rempits, unemployed youths, recently released ex-convicts etc.) and immigrant men (Indons, Banglas etc.) who live, work or lepak [b]near the vicinities[/b] where our daughters, nieces, sisters, wives, aunts and girlfriends also lived, worked or lepaked.

It might not be outright porn but like the Malay proverb says, "Sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit."

Or in some of our cases, "jadi gunumg berapi!" If you catch my drift.

Long live arousing, sexy women to make us happy and aroused!!

Bambang Wakirto
Acquisitions Commitee
[b]NAILMEN[/b]
(National Association of Immigrant and Local Men of Malaysia)

My Biodata
Name : Bambang Wakirto.
Age : 27
Sex : Virile male
Nationality : Indonesian
Occupation : Between jobs
Status : Illegal Immigrant

Likes:-
-Being aroused by sexy women in the media (print and electronic) and in public
-Being your modestly dressed sister's neighbour
-Hanging outside your innocent nieces' school
-Lepakking in the shopping mall where your girlfriends shops.

Dislikes
-Unsexy women


****

I just want to make this open and say what's on my head and in my heart. First of all I won't care to elaborate on the issue and argue, debate my way thro pages and pages...ok maybe just one page :)

This lame issue (yes, I sincerely think it is just lame) of sexy, attractive women being the problem of societies.

And dear old Bambamg calling male immigrants & foreign workers sex-crazed men, he is asking for it lah. And calling fashionable (btw, yes, Bambang, Shop with Soul Doctor is dedicated to secondhand fashion and anything else I like) & sexy women the problem of men's vices.

This issue and men (and women) finger-pointing at women in dresses, without tudung, etc is very old, much debated on, written on, spoken...maybe Bambang missed those forums.

Thank you for your view but no, cannot agree with you and I think you should work on your problem.

On the surface you seem like a concerned person who is fearing for the safety of the likes of me, other women and your family. You feel the need to protect females from the bad bad wolf of media (porn, my website, movies, etc).

We need protection not from the aroused, you call them -- Mat Rempits, unemployed youths, recently released ex-convicts, immigrant men (Indons, Banglas etc.), we need protection from people like you, whether you're a man or woman.

People like you who would visit a fashion website and sign off as a 27-Indonesian illegal immigrant, a virile male. You are aroused but unfortunately you are also incredibly self-righteous. You are doing the easy thing, the easy way to feeling good about things, and yourself...putting the blame elsewhere.

It's so easy to point fingers on others. Rape cases -- the rapist wouldn't do it but he had to because of his nature (calls) and because the victim asked for it in her dress a little short.

Your argument is shallow.

Go study the science of sin, the study & research done on rapists profile.

There is a huge difference between men who ogle at women, and those who violate them. They are NOT the same kind. My boyfriend belongs to the first group, all men I know look at women, yes, even those who like men in bed, look at women. They look at your daughters, wives, girlfriends, in billboard, magazines, in school, shopping malls...so what?

They are not the ones we fear. Men capable of hurting others are more complicated than that. They could be also the ones sitting in malls but then what are you saying? Close the malls? Have special dress code implemented for all female species?

How about we impose special rules on self-righteous people instead...

Anyway, in the spirit of free speech, Bambang, I published your comment. In the name of a new world and freedom for all, human rights, and peace, and women who are free to be themselves, men who are normal, I suggest that you give your concern a rest and maybe you want to re-think your thoughts.

We cannot change where the media is heading, but we can change the way we buy our media. A clever reader filters information.

A stupid one unfortunately, we cannot help.

A smart person filters thro popular culture and creates his own. We all live in the same world but we don't have to all agree with some stupid popular belief (like the one you have), popularity doesn't mean truth.

But yes, go study the science of sin, and sinners.

BTW, you spelled these words wrongly in your comment but I have corrected them for this blog entry :)

Titillate
Girlfriends
Neighbour

I celebrate fashion, life & friends

While answering some interview on flea markets, I looked up my old photo albums and was swamped by memories of days not too long ago. I realised I have changed my style in a fairly short time. While my performing arts front (theatre) schedule got heavy, I have kept my more flamboyant style and traded it with the comfy (and stylish hopefully) rehearsal gear...

So I put together a little collage of looks I used to wear, with friends....and photos of my fashionista friends :)

My old mob is replaced by longer and very straight mane. Photo by Justin Just early this year I had fun posing for FHM Malaysia. Make up by Geraldine Loy








































Light moments of fashion...
(left) SeeMing and I met up one day and we just turned up looking like those twins whose parents dressed them up in identical clothing...scary but we managed to pull it off nicely. (right) Accessories I wore for my (old) company fancy dress dinner

Putting looks together..




























































































Partied with Ted (founder of Food Not Bombs KL) and SeeMing at Urbanscapes party, years ago. (right) Nell Ng & Xandria Ooi playing up the colors, recent photo at KL Tower

























SeeMing and I at arty outing

Me, and me, and me...now and then


























One of my best party...the Rainforest World Music Festival in 2003, Kuching.

My `F-M' heels at a singing competition years ago, photo by Callista C.

Paranoid?

Is it true that when your mind is focused on one issue, it manifests itself into the reality?

Recently I have been wondering about the kind of people staying in my apartment. About two weeks ago I had an unpleasant encounter with a lad who lives in my block. This strange man is a stranger to me till this day and yet he knew my pad unit number and he knew that I have a `singing career'.

I lodged a police report and reported to my flat security about this person who tried to approach me in the car park dead in the night. This person later persisted in apologizing to me in person and surrendered his mobile number to me.

J and I let it rest about a week ago, after failing to meet him for a `face-to-face-talk', between my man and this strange man. I have been very alert every time I leave my door and right to the point I lock my car door...checking corners before I walk....it's not a nice feeling.

But that man has stayed away, so far.

My mind is still on the subject of my seemingly visible presence in the flat. Suddenly there are more strange men who would try to chat me up in the lifts, car park and in the lift lobby.

Am I paranoid? I swear the first two years I started living here not one person who is not an acquaintance of mine try to `chat me up'. Until I started parking in the sheltered car park of my flat.

Just weeks before the encounter of that strange man - let's call him the 7th-floor man (he said he lives on the 7th floor) - I was getting my car fixed at my regular workshop (the one I go to since the day I bought my Sunny Boy) when this guy came up to me and said hi. He said he recognized my car from the car park in his flat...don't ask me why I didn't ask for his name and where he lived exactly....I'm quite a private person when I don't know who the hell you are.

Then I would see him again in the flat, each time he called out to me and said hi because it seems that he spotted me first every time we `meet' near the lift, or near my car. Sometimes he is with a friend, and his friend would display similar level of friendliness.

I saw him again last night just as I got out of my car, he said hi and asked if I worked late. This time I asked him where he lives, 7th floor, he said.

Tightened my grip at myself, I walked to the lift lobby and there was a man in a MAS uniform who held the lift door for me. This uniform guy smiled at me and complimented on my unique earrings.

This evening I left my flat for rehearsal at 6pm, a man who was already in the lift when I got in smiled at me and said, "Are you a dancing class teacher?"

I said "No." in the most polite manner and I stared at him.

He got out on the 1st floor, looking a little embarrassed at my blatant stare.

Am just trying to make sense out of these strings of incidents.

Are they trying to tell me something?

I was wearing a black tee shirt with long black sweat pants, both the tee shirt and pants were baggy and my shirt wasn't low cut.

Maybe he was just being friendly, and really curious.

I related these to my cast members over mamak earlier, some of them advised me to start carrying a condom around, just to be safe, in straight faces they told me that.

Weather update - Sunny

My mysterious clouds of depression went away beginning of last week...a series of `brighter' things took place and I'm very happy to confirm that I'm back to normal, my happy, normal self.

It started with me watching some documentary on the science of sin on Monday. J bought some Discovery Channel DVDs from Pakistan and that was one of them.

The sin of sloth, the case study was this woman, an introvert since childhood. She was just simply, a depressed creature her whole life until one day (when she was 30-something) she decided to do something about her `way of life'. Basically the doctors and researchers put her on a rigorous work-out routine, sporty outings and voila, she was cured.

On that same afternoon I got `invited' to a walk at TTDI's Bukit Kiara, I went. I thought a 4km walk up and down the hill would kill me and I wasn't going to be able to complete it. I somehow did, I pushed myself...and paced my steps.

Tuesday I had a good meeting with my clients who were getting married on the same weekend and they confirmed me as their wedding singer. I learned a new song the day before, The Way You Look Tonight, it was to be their dinner dance.

On Wednesday I went back to Bukit Kiara and this time I did about 5km (extra km at the dead end road after the finished line)...this time my shin muscle hurt a bit. But it was clear I felt good `sweating' the right stuff...and I could boast about the walk at my rehearsals.

On Friday I even managed to chat during my uphill walk, unbelievable, I never managed to breather properly before, on Friday I managed to walk non stop and actually held conversation. I watched Gold Rain & Hail Stones that night....by the time I got to KLPAC foyer and had a ball just before the show, talking to half the theatre (the community is that small) I was quite sure I was 100% back to my normal self.

What I am saying is, Exercising is good for you.

Positivity too.

I woke up with very uncomfortable throat on Saturday...Fuck, I thought I jinxed it. Happy on Friday night and now I'm left with no voice for my Saturday night performance? I forced myself not to panic, drank Nim Jom Pei Pa Kao, apple cider and honey and Bena Expectorant (cough mixture for chesty cough), had lunch...my voice came back by afternoon and I had a ball at the wedding performance :)

Sailed through my Monday...and I just can't wait for tomorrow.

Stormy weather

I remember in school, the English language workbooks had exercises whereby you start a composition by putting together all the keywords, phrases to the story before stringing them up and form your composition.

I have some keywords to this entry also

aimless
listless
irritable
bored
phlegm
runny nose
depression


I have the blue....maybe it's the medicine, or the weather, or my routine in the past one week, or probably something I don't know.

All I know is, I can't find anything real or any valid reason to complain or feel depressed about.

But I am, that sucks.

I have lost my appetite for days, don't feel like going out, lazy, snappy, impatient, restless, listless, bored. I hope it's matter of time before I feel normal again, my normal self is a happy person.

Everything seems to be covered with a mysterious shade of grey...a dangerous sense of calmness in things I see, and experience, this week.

Sounds like I've been spooked by drugs huh? Boy, at least give me a cheerier drug.

Being sick and recovering, I can't sing for days. I hope that's why I'm depressed. I worry my voice doesn't come back in time for me...

In the meantime I try to be positive, while waiting it out. Thinking of other things, eat fruits, think about my show opening in 18 days (shivers), etc.

Waiting for the storm to be over...

Out and will be back

Soul Doctor got knocked out by virus and am out seeking rest...will be back. Stronger :)